I try to keep the work as grounded and focused on the present as possible. For example, I may revisit the past with a client, but we don’t stay stuck there. There is no benefit to staying focused or morbidly fixated on things we can’t erase. That’s a victim’s consciousness. We only revisit the past long enough to explore it, to mourn losses, to validate and appreciate our history, to learn how we adapted to the dysfunction of that time, and to rework the narrative so that it’s more cohesive.

As we gain insight, we become more articulate and clear-minded. This then increases our consciousness, which expands our understanding, and allows us to make new decisions, as opposed to endlessly repeating the past and chalking life up to fate.

My primary training is psychodynamic, supervised by premier psychoanalysts of their time, yet I am not a psychoanalyst.

My focus is on the therapeutic relationship, and theory is useless unless it has a practical application.

Many clients like the idea of a solution or a quick fix. I don’t give homework unless a client asks, which usually involves underlining overarching and emotionally resonant themes from the day’s session to be reflecting on through the week. This feels collaborative and manageable, and it creates a sense of ownership and accountability.

I’ve worked with clients across the lifespan and from all walks of life- from children and families in a head start program, to clients facing the end of life events with autoimmune diseases and cancer, to women in homeless shelters. The majority of my time was spent working for seven years counseling first-generation young adults at the Baruch College Counseling Center, which is one of the most diverse campuses in the world. Because of these experiences, I have heard many stories that have reinforced my beliefs in human diversity, social justice, and human dignity above all else.

My current focus is with clients and colleagues who want to become the authority in their lives, who want to access their emotions and become more assertive. Through my personal experiences and the work, I’ve discovered that when people gain clarity about how the past influences the present, they can break out of repetitive patterns.

In the end, of primary importance is finding the fit – someone relatable, grounded, engaged, curious, collaborative, and who makes you feel accepted and safe so that you can explore.

Hesitation is normal and natural. And you won’t be the first or last person in that struggle. What is most important is that you make the decision on your own free will and that you do so for yourself, not because you are being coerced. Finding the right fit is the most important thing. You want to meet with someone who meets you and accepts you for wherever you’re at in this point in life so that you can feel safe enough to explore and grow. We are all on a path of growing and expanding into life, and therapy is a fertile place to do so.

Absolutely. I have joked with clients that, “it is my job to put myself out of business.” What I mean by this is that my job is to help strengthen people so that they can stand on their own in the world with and without therapy. This therapeutic space will always be there for you if ever and whenever you want it again.

It is not up to me to decide whether or not a client “needs” therapy – that is everyone’s personal decision and free will. I love the metaphor that life, and therapy, are like waves and seasons—they ebb and flow, move in and out, and that people can move in and out of therapeutic spaces depending on the flow of their lives.

I love when people teach me about their experiences. I make no assumptions. I lead by reminding myself of everyone has a “bill of rights”, that we all live in a prejudiced, fear-based world… that we each possess dignity. When it comes to intervening, I may state something along the lines of, “I wonder how your experience as a (black and bisexual man; a biracial woman in a mostly white male environment; being from the South, gay, and growing up in conservative home) affects you too.” This has a way of bringing into consciousness and into space the reality that the world isn’t fair and doesn’t appear to be working for us on the surface. I may highlight things along the lines of “I wonder if there are any feelings about me being a white male”, or some other part of my identity, as a way of acknowledging privileged aspects of my life. At the end of the day, everyone has a unique identity and I invite them to share and explore as much as they feel comfortable doing so without imposing my assumptions.

You come into a session and something has shifted. Some weeks you may appear more grounded, clear-minded, and effective in session and out in the world. Some weeks you might appear a little less self-assured because you are doing the difficult work of therapy, which involves excavating your emotional landscape and reworking the foundation of their narratives.

If the narrative remains the same each week.

Sometimes I may ask you directly if you feel like you are getting what you need, if I’ve missed the mark, or if what I am saying isn’t resonating.

I have many beliefs, but to list a few:

The purpose of therapy is to help people rediscover and reconnect with themselves, others, and the world around them through the cultivation of deep reflection, self-acceptance, and other life-affirming wellness practices.

Therapy allows people to cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships, break free of limiting beliefs, fears, and doubts that are holding them back, and increase mindfulness, and gain clarity goals, dreams, and purpose.

Therapy is not because people are ill or “crazy”. Therapy is sanity maintenance. It’s a grounding practice similar to physical exercise and nutritional health, and it has cumulative effects.

Therapy is a process of cleansing a psyche of trauma by tending to wounds that have been neglected. In the end, it can renew your spirit and energy by helping affirm and strengthen your identities.