After centuries of trauma and oppression, the impact of racism in the United States is finally being brought to light.  Racism is systemically ingrained in our society and has led to generations of race-based trauma.  While the racist activity of today is often less blatant and overt than in the past, technology has provided an outlet for both blatant and subtle racism via cybervictimization and bullying.

Cyberbullying and cybervictimization are terms that can be used interchangeably to describe acts of harm towards others online.  However, cybervictimization may also refer to the longer-lasting consequences as a result of cyberbullying, such as race-based trauma.  Cyberbullying is often mistakenly thought to be a problem exclusive to youth.  However, it occurs across all age groups, perhaps even more so in racially-motivated ways.

What is race-based trauma?

Race-based trauma is a form of complex, internal traumatic responses resulting from overt, covert, and systemic acts of racism.  Race-based trauma is chronic and tends to include experiences such as hypervigilance, fear, feeling “on-edge,” irritability, depression, trouble concentrating, and distrust.  These responses have been learned as a means of survival in a society where people of color are not treated with the same value as the majority.

Recent events have extubated traumatic experiences.  With the recent killings of Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and Ahmaud Arbery, Black individuals are being reminded of how unsafe society can be for them.  Oftentimes, emotional reactions are dismissed or invalidated by those in positions of privilege.  Other times, the idea of systemic racism is denied altogether.  This invalidation, known as gaslighting, adds fuel to fire of race-based trauma.

For a more in-depth look at race-based trauma and how to cope, see my previous post, 6 Ways to Cope with Race-Based Trauma.

How cyberbullying plays a part

The internet provides many outlets for overt and covert racism to occur. Overt racism includes acts such as verbal abuse, racial slurs, and acts of violence. Covert racism includes subtle acts to subvert, distort, restrict, and deny racial minorities access to societal privileges and benefits. This can include microaggressions, which by nature are difficult to detect as they include subtle messages and behaviors that highlight racist attitudes. These often involve harmful assumptions about black people or the denial of equitable opportunities.

With the veil of anonymity and sense of safety behind the screen, individuals have an easier time displaying both overt and covert racism, even in actions that are deemed socially unacceptable by today’s standards. Acts of cyberbullying can occur on an individual, group, or systemic level.

With the veil of anonymity and sense of safety behind the screen, individuals have an easier time displaying both overt and covert racism, even in actions that are deemed socially unacceptable by today’s standards.

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Common acts of race-based cybervictimization and cyberbullying include racist memes and jokes, overt abuse and racist remarks directed towards an individual of color, racist remarks directed towards an ethnicity or racial group, derogatory comments or jokes made about victims of racism (i.e. jokes about the death of George Floyd), white supremacist groups and forums, sharing inaccurate or biased information against people of color, defamation, denial of racism, censoring the voices of people of color, and invalidating expressions of pain and injustice from people of color.

Race-based cybervictimization can be isolating and disempowering. It often removes the ability to defend oneself, and the perpetrator may receive no consequence for their actions. The acts of racism may also be publicized.

The power imbalance, lack of defense, and lack of consequences of cyberbullying are as profound as the overt racism from decades prior. Research is currently underway that suggests that Black people are especially prone to race-based trauma and cybervictimization. Compared to other ethnic groups, Black people may be the most likely to experience acts of race-based cyberbullying. Black people may also experience the strongest traumatic effects due to it. Research also shows that the effects of cybervictimization can be as profound as any trauma leading to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

In general, cyberbullying can lead to serious mental health consequences. These can include:

Those who experience cyberbullying are also more likely to drop out of school or experience challenges at work.

Cyberbullying does not need to be directed at an individual.  As mentioned, it can happen on a group or systemic level as well.  Gaslighting is a major problem when dealing with these levels of cybervictimization.  For example, let’s say you come across a racist joke or meme posted by a friend on social media.  This is a form of cyberbullying and cybervictimization.  Perhaps this joke upset you, and you express your feelings about it to this person.  The person may respond with something similar to, “It was just a joke” or “you’re being too sensitive.”  This is a form of gaslighting, which further contributes to race-based trauma. This contributes to  an individual questioning their lived experience, authentic emotions, and having to manage legitimate levels of outrage out of concern about how they may be perceived.

Coping with cybervictimization

One problem that people of color, especially women, have to deal with is the idea of always having to be “strong.” Well-intentioned people may try to empower people of color by saying something like, “You’re so strong” in situations of adversity. While it may be true, it can also be exhausting to constantly live up to the idea of being a strong person. This can also be a harmful race-based trope of the “strong black woman.” While the intention is to empower the individual, it can oftentimes take away the reality and space which allows individuals to be a full human, that is allowing for moments of strength and vulnerability.

It also contributes to and plays on the fact that black women have had to be strong figures within the family unit due to direct and indirect impacts of chattel slavery, Jim Crow laws, and mass incarceration. Kind sentiments also do little to change systemic racism. It is OK to be tired of always having to be strong and it’s OK to not always be strong.

Here are some tips for coping with cybervictimization:

1. Recognize and avoid self-blame and internalization
2. Remove the harm from your environment
3. Find social support
4. Connect with empowering organizations and online communities

1. Recognize and avoid self-blame or internalization

Cybervictimization is always the fault of the perpetrator.

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When we are on the receiving end of cybervictimization, we often become more critical of ourselves. If bullying occurs on an individual-level, we may wonder if we did something to deserve it, or regret standing up for ourselves. Cybervictimization is always the fault of the perpetrator. Being aware of this practice, and stopping ourselves when we notice it, can reduce the internalization of these experiences.

3. Find social support.

Connecting with supportive friends and family is absolutely vital to well-being. It is even more important when dealing with trauma of any form.

Connecting with supportive friends and family is absolutely vital to well-being.

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Online support groups can also help. DailyStrength.org has support groups dedicated to a wide range of issues, including cyberbullying. Connecting with a counselor is also helpful.

4. Connect with empowering organizations and online communities.

There are many organizations dedicated to empowering people of color. To find an organization, see the articles 28 Organizations that Empower Black Communities, 50 WOC-led Organizations in the U.S. That We Should Support, and 11 Hispanic and Latino Organizations Everyone Should Know.

Finding a therapist

When searching for a therapist, it is important to find someone who you feel is a valuable ally. If a therapist is of a different racial or ethnic background than you, it is good to explore their stance on anti-racism. It is also OK to inquire about what they have done to fight against racism. It is important to feel comfortable with your therapist, so don’t be afraid to ask.

It’s important that you feel heard, seen, and understood in your lived experience by your therapist.

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It is also OK to request a therapist of the same racial or ethnic background as you. Being able to voice your needs means that you empower yourself in your journey to improved emotional wellbeing. After all, the relationship and rapport you have with your therapist is key to your success in therapy. It’s important that you feel heard, seen, and understood in your lived experience by your therapist. Finding the right therapist means finding an unconditional source of support and genuine connection.

The Bottom Line

You deserve to feel heard, be valued, and feel safe online. Many resources are available to combat race-based trauma and cybervictimization, and you never have to deal with the trauma alone. While technology has allowed cybervictimization to occur, it also provides avenues and opportunity to fight against it.

Your Turn: Have you experienced cyberbullying due to your race or ethnicity? How did you handle it? Share what helped you to cope in the comments below.

Our nation is in the throes of a powerful social movement—one that’s been determined, in fact, to be one of the largest in U.S. history.

With the recent and tragic deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and other black Americans killed while going about their daily lives, the Black Lives Matter movement has been at the forefront of personal, corporate, and legislative conversations.

While the world grapples with issues of systemic injustice, it’s important to keep in mind how this unique form of trauma impacts the health of individuals who identify as BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and people of color).

Conversations around health disparities related to racism are entering the mainstream, in part because of the wildly disproportionate effects of COVID-19 that have been seen in racial and ethnic minority groups. It’s crucial that mental health is included in those conversations and, specifically, that people are taught to understand how race-based trauma impacts our immediate mental health, while also having greater, lasting health implications.

For example, we know that racism can profoundly impact our health. The stress of discrimination can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, and even premature mortality. 

We also know that black Americans and other minorities receive inferior healthcare compared to their white counterparts. Black mothers are three to four times more likely to die due to complications in childbirth than white mothers. Even tennis champion Serena Williams, who attempted to alert her doctors of pre-existing issues after giving birth, wasn’t immune from this life-threatening bias.

What Is Race-Based Trauma? 

When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of one single, dramatic, life-changing event or moment in time. Race-based trauma occurs much more insidiously, on a systemic level, and is experienced through both micro and macroaggressions. 

Race-based trauma refers to people of color’s reactions to dangerous events and experiences of racial discrimination. These events can have such a pervasive impact on an individual because of the subtle and nefarious nature of insidious trauma. 

The impact of race-based trauma can alter an individual’s perception of the world, their sense of self, and the nature of their relationships.

What Are Microaggressions? 

A microaggression is a subtle stab, often with language, that stems from a long history of oppression. It sends a hostile or negative message, and although these messages may appear harmless to outsiders (in fact, perpetrators may themselves be unaware of the biases reflected in such statements), they’re considered covert forms of discrimination. 

Microaggressions are sometimes so insidious that it’s possible that an individual experiencing them may not fully realize how internalizing them is negatively affecting their wellbeing.

One example of a microaggression would be a black woman being told in a surprised tone, “You’re so articulate.” On the surface, it seems the speaker is being complimentary, but the covert assumption is that as a black woman, you’re not supposed to be as intelligent or well-spoken as a white person. The speaker is inferring that they believed you to be one way and is surprised their assumption is untrue, simply based on the color of your skin. 

Worse yet, if the person perpetrating the microaggression is well-intentioned, as in the case of a friend or colleague, they may be shocked or confused if confronted on why these types of comments are damaging. Such conversations sometimes lead to the perpetrator unintentionally gaslighting the person of color: The burden of the interaction is redirected to the person of color, who further internalized that stress and trauma.

The world of dating provides another example of how insidious and subtle systemic racism can be.

Some of my BIPOC female clients tend to struggle with issues surrounding appearance and desirability, which is only amplified when dating. They begin to question their attractiveness compared to what are considered conventional white-European or otherwise Westernized standards of beauty. In our sessions, I help my clients explore their early experiences and where these feelings originated. 

From a young age, most people of color see that people in positions of power as well as ideal images of beauty look differently than they do. It’s no surprise, then, that feelings of inadequacy or self-esteem may arise as a result. Essentially, people of color have to grow up in a society that values things they don’t have.

What Are Macroaggressions?

Unlike microaggressions, which are more subtle or ambiguous, macroaggressions refer to overt forms of racial discimination such as verbal abuse, racials slurs, or hate crimes. In today’s world, macroaggressions are typically considered less socially acceptable, and for this reason may occur less frequently than microaggressions.

What Does Race-Based Trauma Look Like?

Race-based trauma can exhibit itself in many different forms. Here are some of the psychological symptoms commonly seen in individuals experiencing race-based trauma: 

Hypervigilance: Feeling on edge, distrustful, or the need to protect yourself when interacting with the world around you because there’s always a potential threat, whether it’s more subtle discrimination or outright violence.

Depression and Helplessness: Loss of hope in our elected officials, leaders, or community to effectively help and protect us. Trying to understand what this means for our own children or future generations and fearing that we may not be able to protect them.

Anger: Feelings of anger, rage, or sadness at the unchallenged system, community, and elected leaders who allow people of color to continue to be mistreated and killed. Also, anger that it’s taken so long for these issues to be brought to the forefront of conversations in the daily lives of others, when it’s been affecting people of color for generations.

Monitoring Your Authentic Self: We may begin to take great measures to change our behavior and stifle our emotions, or even valid reactions, in order to avoid being perceived as a negative stereotype.

Questioning Your Reality: Self-doubt and questioning one’s lived experience. It’s not uncommon to wonder, “Are the microaggressions or injustices I experience really that bad if they’re allowed to continue without anyone batting an eyelash? Am I just overreacting?”

6 Ways to Cope with Race-Based Trauma

It’s painstaking to learn how to thrive in a world that you’re told and shown is not made for you. The psychic energy required to maintain this level of hypervigilance merely to exist in this world as a person of color is physically exhausting. 

1. Gain Critical Consciousness
2. Flip the Narrative to Highlight Resilience
3. Develop Mindfulness and Objectivity
4. Take Social Action for Empowerment
5. Release Emotional Energy With Compassion
   
6. Radical Self-Care as a Method of Resistance

1. Start by Gaining Critical Consciousness.

Critical consciousness—the ability to identify and question systems of inequality—is one of the guiding principles of social justice teaching. By gaining an in-depth understanding of our social and historical experiences, we can begin to take action against oppression.

Put it into practice: In order to begin increasing our awareness to the power structures in our society, we can deconstruct racism by asking ourselves several questions:

1. Why does racism/inequality exist? 
2. Who is benefitting from this oppressive system?
3. How does it favor this group?
4. What allows this type of system to continue to thrive? 

2. Flip the Narrative to Highlight Resilience.

So often, the victors get to claim the narrative (Christopher Columbus, anyone?). This time, let’s flip the switch. Focus your attention not on your deficits but instead on your intrinsic value and strengths. Reject the negative story that’s being told to you that you’re somehow not adequate, and instead choose to highlight your resilience. You can do this by identifying the achievements and character strengths you’ve developed in spite of a system that is not built to help you thrive. 

Put it into practice: Ask yourself:

1. What have you accomplished despite all odds? 
2. What are your values that you’ve managed to uphold in the face of adversity?
3. What do you bring to the table, and with your unique position, can you help other people navigate these obstacles?

For every one person who does outwardly praise you on your strengths or accomplishments, there’s another five people who likely took note but never spoke up.

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The truth is that you may not feel 100% sure about yourself all of the time, and that’s okay, that’s also part of being human. What’s important to remember, however, as a person of color is that for every one person who does outwardly praise you on your strengths or accomplishments, there’s another five people who likely took note but never spoke up. 

Consider the uncomfortable task of standing up for yourself during an awkward or difficult interaction with a colleague during a work meeting. This may not seem to affect anyone but you on the surface, but this action can have a powerful ripple effect on observers. You never know who’s learning from your behavior and who you will positively impact. 

3. Develop Mindfulness and Objectivity.

Resist internalizing the micro- and macroaggressions you face. This, understandably, is incredibly difficult, and it’s usually more effective if done after working through the initial steps outlined above. A technique I like to use with my clients is imagining that you’re sitting on a riverbank watching your thoughts pass by as fish swimming downstream. 

This doesn’t mean giving the people or institutions who’ve wronged you a free pass; it means gaining distance from the situation by resisting internalizing the negativity. Being able to gain a bit of distance and objectivity when viewing our experiences helps decrease our emotional reactivity, which in and of itself is freeing. 

Put it into practice: Let’s take a negative interaction with a coworker or colleague as an example. By acknowledging that my coworker (who may or may not be knowingly racist) is a product of our flawed system, and that her insensitive comments aren’t a reflection of me or my worth—but, rather, her own limitations, upbringing, and blind spots—I can prevent myself from internalizing her hurtful comments and, therefore, feeling negatively about myself. 

I want to be clear that I’m not saying she doesn’t need to be held accountable for racist behavior, whether ignorant or malicious in intent. In fact, quite the opposite is true. The point of this exercise is to help you understand her behavior in a way that helps you distance yourself from it emotionally, which allows you to be freer with your energy. In this scenario, the perpetrator still has the option to learn, but the burden of that education is no longer placed on the person of color.

4. Take Social Action for Empowerment.

Find and join a local social justice group, either online or in person. It may initially feel like the first day of school, and it could take a couple of meetings or interactions to get to know others, and that’s okay. There’s strength and power in numbers. Get and stay connected to others who are just as passionate about social justice and putting their words to power. 

Put it into practice: Explore various racial equity groups in your area. Find ways to engage in advocacy, share testimony, or provide education on a topic you feel strongly about. Remember to stay safe if protesting in public, and use protective measures such as wearing a mask, maintaining distance when possible, and using hand sanitizer frequently.

“We inadvertently burden ourselves with unnecessary emotional labor when we assume malicious intent in others.”

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5. Extend Compassion to Yourself and Others by Releasing Emotional Energy.

Be gentle and patient with yourself. We didn’t choose our socialization or conditioning, yet we were all born into a society that sets us up with systems of privilege and oppression. Because of this, we’re all collectively grappling with our individual racial identities, some for the very first time. 

Extending compassion to others isn’t the same as excusing or condoning terrible behavior. By extending compassion to others, we in turn extend compassion to ourselves. We inadvertently burden ourselves with unnecessary emotional labor when we assume malicious intent in others.

This can be an especially challenging exercise, though, and one that puts undue emotional labor on people of color. It may not be the right exercise for everyone. But for those who are able and willing to put in the work, the benefits can make it deeply worthwhile.

A good way to think about this exercise is with a “both–and” approach. For instance, you can acknowledge that you and the other person—as a non-BIPOC individual—are socialized in a way that one or both of you may not completely understand the things that upset, anger, and harm you. While extending compassion to the other person and realizing that they’re working on their progress, you can still safeguard yourself. 

You can step back in ways that protect your mental and physical health while also believing in their growth.

 Put it into practice: Acknowledge that nobody is perfect, including ourselves. This permission to be human, flawed, and at whatever stage of awakening in our racial identity, can help us stay sane by reducing stress levels and decreasing negative emotional energy. I often tell my clients that they can think of self-compassion by imagining they’re running a marathon.

You can run the entire marathon thinking self-defeating thoughts such as, “I’m slow, I’m in pain, I hate this, when will this be over?” Or you can be your own cheerleader when things feel tough, highlight the reasons to be grateful (“I get to run—my body is healthy and able” vs. “I have to run—this is hard and painful”), and find joy in the journey. Either way, you’re going to finish the marathon, but the attitude you choose to endure during the race is entirely up to you. 

6. Radical Self-Care as a Method of Resistance.

When we think of self-care, we often think of taking a day off from work to do something fun or pamper ourselves. But self-care can be much simpler and more straightforward. Find what brings you joy and what nurtures you, and reach for it in times of need. Do you love listening to music from the early ’90s? Getting some fresh air in nature after being in a cramped apartment all day? Being creative? Talking to friends, or talking to no one, if that’s what you need? 

Put it into practice: Make note of what nurtures your soul and consciously pull out these tools any time you need a mental break or require an emotional shift. Remember, you don’t have to have to shell out for a full-service spa day just to take care of yourself. For some of us, when we’re feeling particularly out of sorts, it can be as simple as making sure we’re sticking to a regular sleep and meal schedule that helps us get back to feeling a bit more human.

Practicing self-care is a way to de-stress, which combats some of the worst consequences of racism. After all, living as a minority within a system that wasn’t created for your survival is in itself an act of resistance. We need to nurture and care for ourselves as we do it.

By extending compassion to others, we in turn extend compassion to ourselves.

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Feeling Outrage Over the Lack of Outrage

Many of us may have for the first time experienced an outpouring of support as Black Lives Matter gained traction around the world this summer. For some of us, this may have been a frustrating or even angering experience. Suddenly, white colleagues, friends, and community are reaching out to check in on me and are apparently going through their own “journey” of uncovering their white privilege. Why now? Where was this outrage when this happened to Eric Gardner, Sandra Bland, or Treyvon Martin? What about Ferguson?

It’s normal to feel frustrated that the world has been asleep at the wheel while we’ve been suffering. And it’s infuriating to know that I will always have to work more than other people at this. However, something that helps me is finding this balance between acceptance and extending compassion. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel frustrated that it took so long for people’s eyes to finally be opened. My negative emotions are still real, and they deserve their own space. Working consciously to approach my own journey and that of others with compassion just helps to make this difficult process a little bit easier. 

At the end of the day, I want to make sure I welcome those who join us in this long fight with open arms, even if they are a bit late to the party. 

Your Turn: How have you been combatting the effects of race-based trauma and stress? I’d love to know what’s been helpful and healing for you, so feel free to share in the comments below.

Many of the tips outlined in this article require patience, as well as continuous practice and growth. Working with an affirming therapist can be helpful in this journey, along with tapping into any other loving support systems you may have.

If you clicked on the title to this blog, there’s a fairly good chance you’ve experienced some unsettling or downright dangerous situations centering around your racial or ethnic identity. Perhaps you’ve felt isolated, mistreated, or even physically threatened because of what you look like or how you speak. I’d like to help you unpack all of the emotions that can stem from simply living your life as a minority. A number of my clients, along with myself, have found strength and comfort in a few core therapeutic principles, which I like to think of as a Minority Bill of Rights.

As a white male, I don’t for one minute pretend to have a firsthand understanding of what it’s like to navigate life as a person of color. I fully understand and appreciate that there are certain experiences I will never be confronted with because of the color of my skin.

As a member of the LGBTQIA community, however, I want you to know that I do appreciate what it’s like to be targeted or singled out. I know what it means to be made to feel small, other, or less than because of inherent circumstances beyond my control. While I may not be living your experience, I empathize, and I want to help you reclaim your power.

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What Is the Minority Bill of Rights?

No matter your race or ethnic background, you have a birthright to feel safe, empowered, and respected in every circumstance, at all times.

It’s time to become your own advocate.

We live in a society with distorted ideas about race that are deeply and historically entrenched. Though significant strides have been made, we still have a long way to go toward positive race relations and a global community that feels warm and welcoming to all human beings.

No matter your race or ethnic background, you have a birthright to feel safe, empowered, and respected in every circumstance, at all times.

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Allyship and advocacy are invaluable resources in the battle for social equality, but if you’re a minority, no one has a higher stake in this battle than you. No one stands to gain more from minority empowerment and enfranchisement, and from uplifting and empowering media representation, than minorities themselves. If you’ve ever been made to feel less than because of who you are or where you come from, it’s time to let go of that narrative and write a new story. You deserve to be your own champion; your own example of beauty, success, talent, and skill.

Safety, respect, and self-love should not be exclusively reserved for the highly privileged.

You’re entitled to so much more.

Safety, respect, and self-love should not be exclusively reserved for the highly privileged.

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Too often, minorities are confronted with such frequent threats to their personal safety, comfort, and very existence that they begin to internalize toxic messaging. They experience microaggressions so often in every environment imaginable—from the workplace to public social gatherings to walking down the street—that these threatening messages sometimes seem reasonable. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If not counteracted by explicitly supportive, nurturing, and affirming messaging, feelings of inadequacy easily permeate the psyche, creating a polluted “normal.”

To combat the normalization of prejudice and bigotry, we must all remind ourselves of our Bill of Rights. Simply put, your Bill of Rights is a personalized list of affirmations curated to reassert your birth-given right to certain fundamental truths.

Use the Minority Bill of Rights to help you remember your worth and assert yourself with healthy boundaries.

The Minority Bill of Rights

As a minority, I’m allowed to …

love the color of my skin

love the texture of my hair and the shape of my eyes, nose, lips, and other racially identifying features

exist outside of socially accepted standards of beauty

enjoy the same compensation and career expansion opportunities as my non-minority colleagues

have my boundaries of personal space respected

refuse persistent and disrespectful inquiries regarding my culture or personal appearance

understand that slang, vernacular, and accents are not an indication of intelligence level

challenge laws, authorities, and institutions that threaten my right to exist

feel safe and at ease in any environment

excuse myself from any environment or situation that makes me feel unsafe, threatened, or disrespected

date and marry within or outside of my particular race

dress in whatever clothing feels comfortable and pleasing to me

exist outside of socially perpetuated stereotypes

feel protected and respected by law enforcement

openly embrace and celebrate my race or ethnic identification

identify myself outside of race and ethnicity

It’s my sincerest hope that you’ll keep this expression of a Minority Bill of Rights close to your heart. Feel free to add to it whichever truths move your spirit.

Remember, as we must respect our own rights, so must we respect the right of others to be their authentic selves. As long as by doing so we cause no harm or threat to the wellbeing of another individual, we each have the right to think, speak, and do as most genuinely reflects our purest nature.

A version of The Minority Bill of Rights originally appeared on our sister site, NYC Therapy + Wellness.