Mindfulness Archives - claritytherapynyc.com https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/category/mindfulness/ Clarity Therapy NYC Tue, 22 Aug 2023 15:35:27 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.2 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/cropped-Artboard-4@logo-150x150.png Mindfulness Archives - claritytherapynyc.com https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/category/mindfulness/ 32 32 Feeling burned out? Internalized Capitalism may be to blame https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/feeling-burned-out-internalized-capitalism-may-be-to-blame/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/feeling-burned-out-internalized-capitalism-may-be-to-blame/#respond Wed, 01 Mar 2023 14:02:05 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=38746 Feeling burned out? Internalized capitalism may be to blame. Read on to learn more and how you can take control of your emotional well-being.

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Capitalism is one of the founding principles of the United States (the other being racism). This framework emphasizes maximizing productivity and profits by any means necessary. While the vast majority of us do not get to share in these profits, we do experience the effects of living in a culture that worships capitalism, often by taking on this “productivity at all costs” mentality and adopting it as our own. One way of describing this is “internalized capitalism.”

While working hard, being goal-oriented, or dreaming big are not inherently bad qualities, when they come at the expense of your health and relationships, it might be time to evaluate the role they play in your life. Questioning self-worth, difficulty resting, anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms can all be signs capitalism and your relationship to work is taking a toll. 

Figuring out what to do in this scenario can feel daunting. Taking time off or challenging the status quo may feel strange, unsafe, or scary. You are far from alone, though!

If you’re feeling run down, let’s explore if internalized capitalism may be to blame, and what you can do about it.

prolonged grief disorder
Questioning self-worth, difficulty resting, anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms can all be signs capitalism and your relationship to work is taking a toll. 

What Is Internalized Capitalism?

Internalized capitalism is the adoption of the messages of capitalism as your own values or guiding principles, typically to your own detriment. A common way this plays out is hustle or grind culture – the idea that you need to always be working as hard as possible, “maximizing your time,” making moves, and advancing toward your dream job or a higher income. In a work-obsessed city like New York, this often translates to multiple jobs, long hours, and the judgment of those who are perceived to be less “productive.”

The issues created by capitalism are as old as capitalism itself, however they are being felt increasingly intensely and are more commonly discussed than before (particularly since the beginning of the pandemic). Whether you’re an artist or entrepreneur, if you’re questioning your worth due to concerns about productivity, not resting, or anxiety and depression have become your norm, it may be worthwhile to continue reading and learn more.

While working hard, being goal-oriented, or dreaming big are not inherently bad qualities, when they come at the expense of your health and relationships, it might be time to evaluate the role they play in your life.

What does it feel like to internalize the ideas of capitalism?

Most of the ways the internalization of capitalism affects us are normalized in the US, despite being highly unnatural. As such, it can be easy to ignore, downplay, or miss what is going on. Experiences like those below may mean you’re committed to the grind in ways you weren’t quite expecting, and with unintended consequences:

Sunday Scaries

The sleepless night of dread before Monday morning is a sure sign work is taking up too much space in your life. For some, this may just be a sign of an unfulfilling job, but more often than not it points to experiencing the exploitation of workers so common in the US.

“Do I Have Value As a Person?”

Tying your value or worth as a person to your job, productivity, accomplishments, or possessions is a slippery slope. It demands you keep going faster and doing more to continue feeling good about yourself. When you fall ill, become disabled, experience unemployment, or are otherwise unable to produce in the same way, it can feel like an existential crisis.

Inability to Rest

Feeling under the weather or in need of a personal day, but go to work anyway? Difficulty actually resting and taking care of yourself on days off? Capitalism (and by extension, many employers) exploits and manipulates workers into feeling guilty for taking the time they need to rest and take care of themselves. This may come in the form of “not being a team player” or feeling anxious about “not doing anything.” Capitalism lies to us by saying that rest is for the weak and should be put off as long as possible.

Anxiety and Depression

Near constant worry about paying bills, holding onto one’s job, and the pressure to do more inevitably takes a toll on your mental health. This stress and feeling like it is inescapable may lead to feelings of anxiety or depression.

What to Do?

Unlearning is a difficult process. It takes time and energy, but can be beneficial if we truly want change in the long-term.

Learn More about Interrelated Systems of Oppression

 

As a white person writing this article, it’s important to acknowledge that the majority of my learning about capitalism has been from people of the global majority, and in particular Black women.

Black thinkers have long talked about and shared their wisdom on this subject. Scholars Tricia Hersey (founder of the Nap Ministry) or Joshua Briond (host of the Millenials are Killing Capitalism podcast) have spoken extensively about how capitalism reinforces, and is intertwined with, other forms of oppression, such as racism and white supremacy, ableism, fatphobia, and more.

Tying your value or worth as a person to your job, productivity, accomplishments, or possessions is a slippery slope.

In a therapeutic setting, talking about these things and learning to recognize how they are connected has value. Co-founder of Melanated Social Work Marvin Toliver has pointed out that tying internalized feelings of capitalism back to racism and white supremacy has been helpful for his clients.

Name the Thing

Having big, ambiguous feelings that we don’t know what to call can often make us feel even worse. In this instance, recognizing the feeling and identifying where it comes from can be useful. Being more specific in this way can always help us know where to start in trying to create change.

Establish Boundaries

On a purely individual level, having stronger, better defined boundaries with work can help you reclaim some of the time, energy, and space that work has taken from you.

Get Connected

Finally, the solution to these problems will be collective – not individual. Talk to friends and coworkers about your experience or get involved with organizations in your community addressing workers rights. If you are in a unionized workplace, learn more about your union! If your workplace is not unionized, learn more about potential options for unionizing.

Capitalism and exploitation of workers thrives on individuals having little recourse against such an overwhelming system. When we internalize these values, we end up perpetuating that feeling of powerlessness. By learning more, being specific about our experiences, and connecting with others, there is far more recourse to create change.

prolonged grief
Stronger, better defined boundaries with work can help you reclaim some of the time, energy, and space that work has taken from you.

Capitalism and Your Mental Health

Unlearning internalized capitalism is possible.

I see capitalism as one of the foremost challenges to our mental health today. None of us are given the option to opt in or out of this system, so we can easily internalize or take in these messages without realizing it. Movies, television, and prominent personalities (think: Joe Biden working while having COVID) have long reinforced that productivity is essential and encouraged us to work past our breaking point, lest we be called lazy and be discarded.

The internalization of capitalism goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, depression, exhaustion, uncertain self-worth, and more. If you feel this way, I’m ready to discuss it with you. I’m Daniel Rich, a licensed psychotherapist at Clarity Therapy NYC eager to discuss capitalism and other mental health concerns tied to it.

Your worth doesn’t depend on your productivity. You’re just as valuable (arguably more valuable) relaxing on the couch as you are working at your job. If job stress, pressure from others, and other values of capitalism are weighing you down, I’d like to find a time to connect with you. Feel free to book a complimentary consultation with me today.

Your Turn: Do you recognize examples of internalized captialism in your life, habits, or belief systems? How does this affect you, your relationships, and emotional wellbeing? Share in the comments below. 

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 Coping with C-PTSD: Learning to Conquer Fear https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/learning-to-conquer-fear-coping-with-c-ptsd/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/learning-to-conquer-fear-coping-with-c-ptsd/#respond Fri, 17 Feb 2023 15:09:25 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=38103 Fear is a normal reaction to trauma, it's your body's way of protecting itself from danger (or perceived danger). Managing fear and coping with C-PTSD can help to reduce stress and anxiety.

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Fear directs survival. A lot of fears are very rational: not only do they make sense, but they serve a critically important function of keeping us alive. For instance, if you’re afraid of heights, you will probably stay away from mountains and therefore reduce your risk of dying by falling off a cliff.

Fear is a natural and healthy reaction to danger. Some fear can be beneficial, but persistent fear can be debilitating- even life-threatening. We can learn to better manage our fear by understanding the flight/fight process of the nervous system, and how this process impacts the brain and body. Learning how to heal after a traumatic experience will help you take control over fear, so fear stops controlling you.

When humans are exposed to real threat to life- physical harm, childhood abuse or neglect, violence, sexual assault, or systematic oppression, your brain shifts in how it prioritizes fear. You become hyper-attuned to threats. When you don’t have adequate support after exposure to threat, this hyper-focus becomes semi-permanent. It’s an extended symptom to keep you on high alert to future threats.

When this experience happens often or with great intensity, more and more resources are directed towards your survival mechanisms. The number one job of the nervous system is to protect your survival by any means necessary. Unfortunately, complex trauma rewires us to be hyper-focused on staying safe. Your nervous system becomes so overloaded with messages of threat that it comes unreliable and unpredictable. You feel fear everywhere, while also losing your ability to tolerate the fear. You can become so scared you actually lose the capacity to keep yourself safe.

 

What is complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD)?

 

This slow pressure of threat on the nervous system is the main crux of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (also known as C-PTSD). C-PTSD results from repeated and prolonged exposure to traumatic events. It’s characterized by a range of symptoms such as difficulty regulating emotions, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, difficulty in relationships, and an altered sense of self. C-PTSD is distinct from PTSD in that it involves multiple traumatic events and a longer duration of exposure.

C-PTSD is most often diagnosed among people who have been victims of prolonged, repetitive trauma. It’s most commonly found in those who have experienced childhood abuse or neglect; domestic violence; and sexual assault.

 

Coping with C-PTSD

The impact of trauma on the brain, emotions, and behavior. 

Trauma can have a profound effect on the brain, emotions, and behavior. Traumatic events can cause changes in brain chemistry and structure, leading to changes in behavior and emotional reactions. These changes can range from difficulty concentrating and problems with memory to feeling detached from reality, increased anxiety and depression, and changes in personality.

Some people may also have difficulty regulating emotions, become more aggressive or impulsive, or have difficulty establishing close relationships. Trauma can also lead to an increased risk of physical health problems, substance abuse, and self-harming behaviors. Coping with C-PTSD poses its own set of challenges, and can be further complicated if an individual doesn’t have a support network or trusted individuals to lean on.

The following are some common ways that trauma can affect one’s ability to function:

    • Memory problems – forgetting things more than usual, difficulty paying attention, or completing tasks.

    • Anxiety or panic attacks – feeling like your emotions or bodily sensations are out of your control.

    • Depression – feeling hopefulness, sad or not enjoying activities you normally enjoy.

    • Hypervigilance – feeling on edge or fearful in your day to day life, despite lack of actual threat.

    • Heightened startle response – exaggerated response to unexpected stimuli, especially sounds, that can feel intense and long-lasting (i.e.jumping at the sound of an ambulance siren, feeling physical sensations like heart palpitations, sweaty palms, or anxiety that takes awhile to dissipate).

    • Intrusive thoughts – Image-based memory is also tied to fear, along with belief systems. Your brain will prioritize these, earmarked as “urgent” increasing the frequency in which you experience negative thoughts and intrusive memories.

    • Depersonalization/Derealization – feeling disconnected from your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, or surroundings. You may experience yourself as an outside observer of your own life or experience a sense of unreality or dreamlike state, as if you’re living in a fog. 

spring cleaning grounding
C-PTSD is most often diagnosed among people who have been victims of prolonged, repetitive trauma.

How does fear impact the nervous system?

Fear is activated when we sense a threat in our environment. In a process called neuroception, skin receptors are scanning the environment for threat. Have you ever felt someone looking at you even if you couldn’t see them? That’s neuroception. This process allows our brain to be more active in other processes such as executive functions. But the moment we sense danger, there’s an immediate reaction. Trauma disrupts our capacity to accurately sense danger in our environment. 

Depersonalization or derealization may cause you to experience yourself as an outside observer of your own life or experience a sense of unreality or dreamlike state, as if you’re living in a fog. 

Sometimes we have a sense that a threat could appear, and this sensation is called anxiety. Anxiety is the anticipation of something bad to come, which can present as lingering discomfort, easily tripped into fear. When a threat is observed or felt, fear kicks in.

You might not always be in active fear, but you might be living every day with elevated anxiety. Anxiety is an uncomfortable sensation telling you that a threat could appear at any moment. Anxiety keeps you on edge, in the anticipation of something bad to come.

When in a constant state of worry, there is a higher risk of tripping into a fear state. Once a threat is sensed, fear turns on, and this sets off a series of physiological reactions to bolster our capacity for self-defense and self-preservation.

For example, imagine that you are walking in the woods. Anxiety keeps you on alert to possible threats, including signs of a bear. This is normal and important. When a bear steps into your line of vision, a fear response kicks in, your sympathetic nervous system turns on, and adrenaline is released in the body. Your muscles get tense, heart rate increases, breathing becomes more anaerobic, and one of ten fear modes will happen based on a few key observations.

 

 

What are the 10 fear responses?

  1. Fight- I can beat the bear
  2. Flight- I can escape the bear
  3. Freeze- I can hide from the bear
  4. Flounder- I attempt self defense but struggle
  5. Fawn- I can please the bear
  6. Friend- I can become the bear
  7. Fright- I can scare the bear
  8. Flop- I can submit to the bear
  9. Faint- I can detach from the bear
  10. Face- I can control my response to the bear
When we’re under threat, fear is responsible for creating a series of physiological reactions to bolster our capacity for self-defense and self-preservation.
financial infidelity

How fear hijacks the nervous system’s threat response.

When faced with fear, your responses change based on your perceived ability to beat the threat, your ability to escape the threat, or your ability to evade harm. When you see the bear, a subconscious judgment is made and then a response is activated. This response is then either strengthened or changed based on your actual experiences.

Fear is a normal reaction to trauma, and is your body’s way of protecting itself from danger – real or perceived.

The more your system learns it has no power over the threat, the more it shifts down into helplessness. Chronic activation of fear, especially fear that led to actual harm or danger, can disrupt the way your nervous system regulates. Living with C-PTSD, you might stop feeling fearful at all, you might experience numbness or dissociation, or you might experience intense depressive episodes. For other people, you may be able to maintain elevated responses, where you find yourself activated constantly. Most people bounce between these two states.

People who have experienced trauma may see bears everywhere, literally. This is because the amygdala- or the fear center of the brain– has adapted to see bears even when there aren’t any. Studies show that people coping with C-PTSD have amygdalas which are unable to recognize the difference between a threat in the past and a current threat. This means that if you’re reminded of a past experience, it’s as if you’re experiencing the traumatic event for the first time. This phenomenon is designed to keep you in a state of self-defense even when there is nothing to defend against. Our brain is trying to keep us safe, but it’s actually hurting us.

With complex trauma disorders, the amygdala has become hyperactive. You might experience a trigger or emotional flashback by something completely unrelated to your trauma. This is because the amygdala also hijacks most emotional processing- meaning fear gets woven into almost all of your experiences- even post-trauma experience. Emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and memories can all become tainted by fear. This is made more complicated due to the under-active prefrontal cortex.

So while your amygdala is overreacting to nonexistent threats, your prefrontal cortex (the rational, decision-making area of the brain) isn’t assessing threats as well as it should be. Having an underactive prefrontal cortex can mean slow learning of new information (which may help how you respond to fear), logical thinking, and having a harder time controlling your fear response.

assessing threat and coping with c-ptsd

Learn how to distinguish ‘real threat’ from ‘perceived threat.’

 

One of the most important steps is to improve your capacity to assess threat, distinguish threat, and recover from fear. Though your experiences have given you very real evidence that the world is scary, healing needs you to believe that you have the potential to be safe. Which is why it’s vital to first extinguish any real threats. You won’t benefit from using coping skills during an active crisis or traumatic event. It’s important to prioritize getting to a safer environment or set of circumstances as soon as possible.

By reducing the fear reactions you experience when no threat is present, you’re retraining our nervous system to become more accurate and less reactive. 

Once real safety has been established, it’s key to learn the signs of your fear responses and understand what happens when you perceive a threat. You’ll first want to understand what triggers your fear and how to determine real threat versus the perceived threat. When no threat is present, you’ll be able to practice shifting down your physiological response and grounding into safety. It’s important to trust that you are not presently at risk or in danger. The more safe environments that you can create or join, the more you can practice felt-safety and give your nervous system a rest. This in turn helps your nervous system better signal threat through neuroception- eventually it only goes off when you see real bears.

Engage in activities or grounding exercises that you find calming or enjoyable can help you better manage fear and your stress response. Try yoga, meditation, or even just going for a walk in nature.
group of women sitting in front of NYC skyline

How to improve coping with C-PTSD and managing fear

Fear is a normal reaction to trauma, it’s your body’s way of protecting itself from danger (or perceived danger). It can be managed consciously and by taking steps to reduce stress and anxiety.

You do this through repeated practice of regulating our reactions to stress, seeing it like a form of physical therapy for your nervous system. We can’t stop the train from leaving the station- our nervous system is reflexive and autopilot shifts on easily. Coping with C-PTSD means that we can catch the train quicker, slow it down quicker, and rope it back into the station more effectively.

Here are things you can do that will help you feel safer when you’re feeling fearful, including:

    • Practice mindful breathing: Take slow, deep breaths, focusing on your breath and trying to relax your body.

    • Practice progressive muscle relaxation: Slowly tense and relax each muscle group in your body, starting with your feet and working up to your head.

    • Engage in activities or grounding exercises that you find calming or enjoyable: Try yoga, meditation, or even just going for a walk in nature.

    • If possible, remove yourself or take a break from whatever situation makes you feel anxious until your nervous system calms down.

    • Take care of  your basic needs and your health make sure you are: eating well, getting enough sleep and exercise, engaging in activities you enjoy (like drawing, socializing, or playing music)

    • Challenge your negative thought patterns: Identify the negative thoughts that come up when you feel fear and challenge them with positive, more realistic thoughts.

    • Talk to friends and family: Sharing your experiences with someone can be a great way to reduce fear reactions and build a support system.

    • Seek professional help: If your fear reactions are persistent and affecting your quality of life, it might be beneficial to speak to a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in working with people who’ve experienced trauma.

Coping with C-PTSD can look like sharing your experiences with someone to reduce stress and build a support system.
group of women sitting in front of NYC skyline

learn the signs of your fear responses to retrain your nervous system

 

When you can reduce the fear reactions you experience when NO threat is present, you’re retraining your nervous system to become more accurate and less reactive. This triggers a slow but important domino effect where your thoughts are less connected to fear, your emotions are less connected to fear, and your behaviors are less driven by fear.

The result is that you’re in better control of your physical symptoms, you improve your self-care, and begin to feel more present in life. When we aren’t motored by worry, we have space for more emotions and can experience true safety.

Here are some things you can do when you’re not in a fearful state to begin to retrain the nervous system:

    • What were the real threats, or your “bears?” How did you respond to stay safe? Why was this most likely the safest way to react to the bear?
    • Identify any coping mechanisms or strategies that may no longer be serving you.
    • What is a non-threat that triggers fear? Can you notice and manage symptoms that come up? Why does this feel so much like a bear?

Healing from C-PTSD is possible

The journey toward healing and recovery from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a process. There is no one size fits all approach, and it can be particularly challenging when you’re working on your own. You need to be patient with yourself, but also know that it’s okay if you need help from others along the way.

Coping with Complex-PTSD and learning how to heal is ideal in the presence of a trained trauma therapist. A trauma-informed therapist can help give you the necessary tools to practice soothing yourself out of fear, and help you distinguish between real and perceived threats. If you’re ready to take control of your own safety and stop living in fear, reach out to begin the process of healing with trauma therapy today.

 

 

Your Turn: What were your bears? How did you respond to stay safe? How have you let go of fear-based behaviors that are no longer serving you?

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The Benefits of Group Therapy After a Higher Level of Care https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/the-benefits-of-group-therapy-after-higher-level-of-care/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/the-benefits-of-group-therapy-after-higher-level-of-care/#respond Thu, 16 Feb 2023 19:11:56 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=38022 Graduating from IOP or inpatient treatment can be exciting and scary at the same time. You’ve experienced a certain routine, structure, and support likely for several intensive weeks. Group therapy can be especially helpful if you’ve recently completed treatment and are looking for the next step in your mental health journey.

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Receiving Higher Levels of Care (HLOC) is a necessary step for many people in their healing journey, but it can often be difficult transitioning back into everyday life. The transition from residential placement, inpatient care, or an intensive outpatient program (IOP) back to outpatient treatment can feel scary and intimidating. Your treatment program likely provided a reliable structure and added support to your routine. Some people often find it helpful to have a supportive network ready to help them or their loved ones navigate this transition.

Group therapy is a great option if you’ve just completed an IOP or inpatient treatment and are looking for extra support and accountability. Groups can help you build supportive relationships and share experiences with others who can relate to your experience. Group therapy also offers a safe space for individuals to learn new skills and challenge any negative thought patterns or destructive behaviors.

A support group that fits your specific needs is likely a great resource in your aftercare plan post treatment. However, unlike member-run support groups, group therapists have the necessary qualifications, training, and clinical knowledge to provide guidance, targeted support, and accountability to help you along your emotional wellness journey.

Receiving a higher level of care is a necessary step for many people in their healing journey, but it can often be difficult transitioning back into everyday life.
group of women sitting in front of NYC skyline

How can group therapy help someone leaving an intensive outpatient program (IOP) or inpatient treatment program?

 

Group therapy acts as a structured yet open forum to discuss personal experiences and challenges. Many group members find that over time, what they practice and experience within the group has a direct impact on their thoughts, feelings and behaviors outside the group, in their day-to-day lives.

With the guidance of a trained professional in a group setting, you may expect to:
 

  1. Share and receive support and feedback among other group members
  2. Developing skills to better handle stress and enhance communication
  3. Learn and practice new effective coping strategies and techniques
  4. Identify and better understand triggers of distress
  5. Experience increased empathy and insight into personal and collective issues
  6. Work towards your own personal growth 
  7. Explore unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviors
  8. Create meaningful connections with others
  9. Develop healthier relationships with yourself and others

 

we offer virtual group therapy options for dbt and trauma

Dialectical Behavior Skills (DBT) Group, Trauma Skills Group, and a Trauma Processing Group.

Groups meet online once a week with one or two therapists and between 6-15 members who are seeking care for similar challenges. You’ll be guided through exercises and interventions, and engage in active group discussions. The overall flow of the session and group therapy activities carried out will be largely dependent on the style and the goals of the group.

spring cleaning grounding
Group therapy can help you explore unhelpful thoughts, behaviors, and feelings, and develop a healthier relationship with yourself and others.

Dialectical Behavior Skills (DBT) GroupTuesdays 5pm-6:30pm 

Our DBT skills group is an open group (meaning group members can come and go at any time) of 3-15 members. You’ll learn new techniques to better manage stress, cope with negative feelings, and improve your relationships. You can expect to deepen your emotional understanding of yourself, while improving how you communicate and relate to others. You’ll learn about and build four major skills of DBT:

 

    • Interpersonal Effectiveness– improve relationships, communication, and conflict management

       

    • Mindfulness– learn to be present and more engaged in life while accepting yourself without judgment

       

    • Emotion Regulation– recognize and express feelings in healthier ways while feeling greater control over your emotions

       

    • Distress Tolerance– manage crisis and extreme experiences of stress through the use of coping skills

       

 

 

Mindfulness is the practice of learning
to be present and more engaged in life, while accepting yourself without judgment.

Trauma Skills GroupWednesdays 5pm-6:30pm

If you’ve experienced trauma, we recommend starting with our trauma skills group to improve how you cope with unpleasant trauma symptoms. This is a closed group, which means it has the same members for the full 10 weeks.

You’ll learn effective coping skills to manage traumatic stress and gain knowledge about trauma’s impact on your thoughts, feelings, behaviors and relationships. In this group you can expect to feel heard and seen while healing through support from others who have also experienced trauma.

 

Trauma Processing Group Saturdays 9:30am-11am

Once you gain the foundational skills, we encourage you to join our trauma processing group to begin your journey towards healing. This is an open group which consists of 3-10 members.

You’ll learn how to build trust, feel less shame, and work through difficult emotions as you share your story with the guidance of a trained professional. You can expect to deepen your self-awareness, gain new perspectives, and foster a sense of connection and community with others in a safe space.

In our trauma skills group, you can expect to feel heard and seen while healing through support from others who have also experienced trauma.
financial infidelity

Group therapy has been shown to be effective in treating a wide range of mental health concerns including:

Anger issues – Group therapy can provide a safe space to discuss and effectively manage anger.

Social anxiety – Group therapy can help participants build confidence, support each other in difficult social scenarios and decrease fear of judging.

Grief and loss – Group therapy can provide a sense of community and understanding, help people better understand the bereavement process and support those struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one.

Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) – Group therapy can help people process and cope with traumatic life experiences, increase assertiveness, and learn strategies for regulated emotional responses.

Depression – Group therapy provides a supportive environment for individuals to gain insight into their negative thought patterns, discuss their feelings and learn problem-solving strategies to cope with depression.

Eating disorders – Group therapy can help individuals develop healthy attitudes and behaviors towards food and eating, increase understanding of their triggers and the causes of their disordered eating, and learn comprehensive methods of coping with their symptoms.

Substance abuse – Group therapy can aid individuals to identify patterns leading to substance abuse, recognize and control destructive triggers, develop social and recreational activities to replace substance usage and form strong, healthy relationships with peers.

Behavioral addictions – Group therapy for behavioral addictions such as gambling can provide structure and support to help individuals stay accountable and develop healthier relationships with themselves and others.

Stress management – Group therapy can encourage clients to discuss stressors and come up with effective strategies for responding to stress.

Low self-esteem – Group therapy can help individuals recognize and reframe unhelpful thinking patterns, develop assertiveness skills and receive positive feedback from their peers.

Family conflict – Group therapy can help families identify the causes of conflict, work through their disputes in a more constructive manner, build better communication methods and form stronger relationships.

Major life transitions – Group therapy can support individuals in adapting to new changes, allowing them to feel less isolated and more prepared for growth.

Chronic pain and illness – Group therapy can provide much needed support, understanding, and normalization for people suffering from chronic pain and illnesses. It can help create a sense of solidarity by allowing individuals to connect with others who genuinely understand the everyday struggles that come with managing chronic pain and illnesses.

Emotion regulation – Group therapy can help individuals identify and communicate their feelings in more constructive ways, improve how they cope with and respond to difficult feelings.

spring cleaning grounding
Group therapy can help individuals recognize and reframe unhelpful thinking patterns, develop assertiveness skills and receive positive feedback from others experiencing similar challenges.

Discover the benefits of group therapy

Graduating from IOP or inpatient treatment can be exciting and scary at the same time. You’ve experienced a certain routine, structure, and support likely for several intensive weeks. Group therapy can be especially helpful if you’ve recently completed treatment and are looking for the next step in your mental health journey.

You’ll be able to build on your progress and continue to practice how to cope more effectively, build meaningful relationships with other group members, share your experience in a safe, supportive environment, hear stories of healing and transformation, and ultimately heal and gain insight into yourself. Reach out today to schedule a complimentary consultation to see if group therapy is the right fit for you.

 

Your Turn: What helped you add extra structure and support into your routine after leaving a higher level of care? If you’ve participated in group therapy before, what benefits did you experience? Share in the comments below.

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35 Grounding Techniques for Upsetting Thoughts https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/35-grounding-techniques-for-upsetting-thoughts/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/35-grounding-techniques-for-upsetting-thoughts/#respond Sat, 28 Jan 2023 01:59:36 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=37131 The post 35 Grounding Techniques for Upsetting Thoughts appeared first on claritytherapynyc.com.

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How do you calm yourself down when you experience stress, anxiety, or dissociation?

It’s common for interpersonal stressors to contribute to upsetting thoughts and increased anxieties. Understandably these may vary from person to person depending on a variety of factors.

Some common interpersonal stressors may include:

 

1. Conflict with friends, family, or coworkers

2. Unfulfilled expectations for yourself or others

3. Financial strain or insecurity

4. Major life transitions

5. Inadequate work/life balance

6. Unresolved trauma or conflicts from the past

7. Lack of meaningful relationships, loneliness or isolation

8. Change in living or work environment

9. Social pressure or criticism

10. Bullying or harassment

11. Feeling unappreciated or ignored

12. Health issues or disability

Between the pandemic, natural disasters, rising inflation, and other common life stressors, it’s no wonder that millions of people struggle with anxiety and other mental health concerns.

What do you do when it all becomes too much?

If you haven’t tried it yet, we highly recommend trying out a few grounding techniques. These have been immensely helpful for some of my own clients, so I wanted to share a few of my favorites here.

What Are Grounding Techniques?

Practicing grounding techniques is a great way to calm yourself and bring you back from the edge. These help you refocus your mind and senses.

They bring back your thoughts to the present moment, recentering yourself from the source of your anxiety, whether it’s a past trauma or a future worry.

Grounding techniques are a key component in managing symptoms or feelings of distress. There are different types of grounding techniques, but they all aim to help you cope with negative emotions and mental health problems better.

Physical Grounding Techniques

Physical grounding techniques generally rely on your five senses — particularly your sense of touch. These exercises usually also require motion or physical movement.

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Method

The 5-4-3-2-1 method is one of the most recommended grounding techniques. All you have to do is to list things around you that you can interact with your senses, going down from five. For example:

  • Five things you see
  • Four things you hear
  • Three things you can touch or feel
  • Two things you can smell
  • One thing you can taste

You can arrange the order or number of senses to your liking. It can help to say your list aloud and pay attention to things you don’t notice regularly to further focus your mind.

woman deep breathing
In each slow breath, notice how you inhale and exhale deeply.

2. Deep Mindful Breathing

Inhale and exhale slowly, taking care to notice how each breath causes your body to move. Try to be mindful of the sensations as each breath fills your body and pushes out.

You can also practice the 4-7-8 breathing exercise:

 

  • Inhale deeply while counting to four.
  • Hold your breath for seven seconds.
  • Exhale slowly to eight counts.

3. Lie Down on the Floor

You can take these grounding exercises literally and lay on the ground. When you do this, try to feel all points of contact between your body and the floor. Focus on where your head, back, shoulders, elbows, arms, legs, and feet touch the ground.

While you do these, it’s also beneficial to do your breathing exercises.

4. Designate a Grounding Chair

Choose a cozy chair where you can lean back while still having your feet reach the floor comfortably. Sit down with your feet flat on the ground, preferably with no shoes or slippers.

Focus on the points of contact between your body and both the ground and chair. Think of how the chair material feels on your skin, how your body fits the chair, and how your feet feel steady on the floor.

 

Incorporate intentional walks where you take careful note of every step you take and remain mindful of your movement and surroundings.

5. Go on a Short Walk

Take a brisk walk or a jog to let out pent up energy. You can go outdoors or just walk around your house or on a treadmill. While walking, stamping your feet intentionally and focusing on the sensation it causes can further help you concentrate on the present moment.

It also helps to take intentional walks where you take careful note of every step you take and remain mindful of your movement and surroundings.

6. Stretch and Exercise

Aside from walking, stretching and other exercises also serve as great grounding techniques. The important thing is to get your body moving and your mind away from your worries. 

You can do exercises in place, such as jumping jacks or jogging in place. Yoga is also a great exercise for this as it pairs well with mindful breathing and meditation.

7. Do Some Gardening

Almost any other physical activity that requires you to engage as much of your body as possible can become a grounding technique. A great example is gardening. Repetitive actions like pulling weeds are great. These allow you to pay closer attention to the sensations of what you’re doing rather than the actions themselves — without causing much (if any) potential harm to yourself.

You can use gardening, both indoor and outdoor, as a grounding technique to help you refocus and recenter.
indoor plants

8. Rub Your Hands Together

If you can’t get up and move around, even simply rubbing your hands together can help. You can even add in a few claps for variety. Instead of just concentrating on the action and how it feels, pay attention to the noise you make as well.

You can also try rubbing your hand over your clothes, table, chair, or other piece of furniture nearby. Notice the different textures on your skin and how it makes you feel.

9. Submerge Your Hands in Water

Dipping your hands into a bowl of water — especially if it’s cold — can shock you into focusing on your surroundings and the present moment.

When you put your hands in water, focus on how the water feels around your fingers and how it flows when you move your hands. It can also help to alternate between placing your hands into warm water then cold water.

cozy couch with blanket
Find an object with a texture that brings you comfort.

10. Hold Ice Cubes

This is a great grounding technique if you suffer from anxiety. Just hold a couple of ice cubes in your hand for a few seconds. Concentrate on how cold the ice is and how it feels in your palms.

You can also trace the ice along your arms or legs and focus on the sensation it causes. Just be careful that the ice isn’t cold enough to cause ice burns.

 

11. Touch Something Comforting

The opposite of shocking your sense of touch is a good grounding technique, too. Instead, find an object with a texture that brings you joy or comfort. This can be anything — a polished stone, a fluffy blanket, or even just a soft piece of yarn. As always, focus on the sensations when you hold your grounding object.

12. Squeeze a Stress Ball

Stress balls are amazing grounding tools since they not only give you something to concentrate on but also require some strength for maximum effect. Focus your energy on two things — how the ball feels in your palm and on the strength or energy you need to really squeeze your stress ball.

Instead of simply squeezing the stress ball absentmindedly, imagine it as the source of your stress. You can also visualize putting all your anxiety into the ball as you squeeze it and then letting it go when you release your hold.

13. Play With a Fidget Cube

Like stress balls, playing with fidget cubes and similar toys like spinners can help counter your stress and anxiety. If you’re restless, then you’ll likely find fidget cubes extra useful.

The repetitive nature of fidget toys can provide anxiety relief. Always try to remain focused on your actions and pay attention to how your hands and fingers move.

Mental Grounding Techniques

These are mental exercises or distractions that primarily aim to reframe your mind and redirect you away from your upsetting thoughts and feelings.

14. Meditation Exercises

Meditation is the intentional practice of being in the present moment. This is a great technique to empty your mind and escape from the feeling of having too many thoughts — especially upsetting ones. If you’re new to meditating, there are plenty of apps that can guide you.

If you want even more effective grounding techniques, you can practice meditation while doing other physical grounding exercises, like walking, stretching, and other repetitive actions.

woman meditating
Meditation is the intentional practice of being in the present moment.

15. Describe Your Surroundings

Take a few minutes to look around you and describe what you see. Try to use as much of your five senses as you can.

Aside from describing what you see, describe what you feel, too. Be as detailed as you can to stimulate your brain. Is your chair soft or hard? How is the temperature in your room? What color is your table or your shirt?

 

16. Imagine Storing Your Feelings in a Box

Imagine filling a box with all your upsetting thoughts and negative feelings. Visualize yourself gathering all those upsetting emotions and balling them up, then putting them in a box and locking the box securely. The idea is not to suppress or stuff your emotions for good, but instead contain them until you feel ready to revisit them.

 

17. Play a Memory Game

Playing a memory game helps pull your thoughts away from what’s worrying you or causing your anxiety. You can play a simple memory game with a deck of cards. Another memory game you can play is listing down as many things you can remember from a picture after staring at it for around 10 seconds.

If you’re a gadget lover, there are also numerous mobile games that challenge your memory.

18. Play a Mental Category Game

Another game you can play solo to steer your thoughts towards more neutral subjects is the mental category game. It’s simple — all you need to do is decide on a broad category. Once you’ve got one, try to list as many things that fall under it as you can.

For example, for the category “cars,” you list down different makes or models of four-wheel vehicles. Keep things interesting by choosing fun categories or themes, like holiday movies, ice cream flavors, or Broadway songs.

cards for memory game
Playing a memory game helps pull your thoughts away from what’s worrying you or causing your anxiety.

19. Count Backwards

We know not all of us are math people, but numbers offer a nice distraction. A simple way to use numbers to center your thoughts is to count backwards from 100. You don’t necessarily need to reach one. Just keep counting backwards until you feel calmer, more in the present, and farther away from your upsetting thoughts.

20. Play Sudoku

If you’re open to slightly more difficult number-based grounding techniques, then answering a Sudoku puzzle is a really good one. Sudoku can be quite the challenge and requires your full mind power. This means you need to be fully in the present moment. 

Other brain exercises and puzzle games like word searches, jigsaws, crossword puzzles, and tetris-like block puzzles work, too.

21. Recite a Poem or Passage 

Quietly recite a poem, book passage, or even the lines from a movie scene that you know by heart. You can also recite the lyrics of a song you love. For greater effect, try visualizing the words as you’d see them when written on a page.

Saying the words out loud instead of just in your mind is preferable, but if that isn’t possible, you can also just say it in your head. It will still help redirect your thoughts away from what’s causing your anxiety. 

Soothing Grounding Techniques

These are a mix of both physical and mental grounding exercises. Instead of simply redirecting your mind away from upsetting thoughts, soothing grounding techniques focus more on making you feel at ease.

 

22. Make a Warm Drink

Make your favorite comforting, hot beverage. Whether this is tea, coffee, or hot chocolate is up to you. While preparing your drink, you can also practice mindfulness. Take note of each movement you make and how everything you touch feels. When you’re done making it, take a seat somewhere relaxing and savor each sip of your drink.

holding a cup of hot tea
Whether this is tea, coffee, or hot chocolate, take a moment to savor each sip.

23. Take a Bath or Shower

Like with other grounding techniques, be mindful of each step you take in preparing your bath or shower. When you do get in the bath (or shower), let the water envelop you — pay extra attention to how it makes you feel.

Many prefer warm baths to really soak in, unwind, and release all their stress. On the other hand, cold showers are great too, especially if you want to jolt yourself out of a “fight or flight” mindset. 

 

24. Sit or Lie Down With Your Pet

Cuddling with your pet is amazing for relieving stress, anxiety, and general worries. Spending a few minutes just sitting with them and stroking their fur is a huge help. Concentrating on the feeling of their fur or the up-and-down movement of their chest also adds to their calming effect.

Additionally, the positive effect of pets on stress is scientifically proven — they actually lower the levels of stress-related hormones and blood pressure.

Cuddling with your pet is amazing for relieving stress, anxiety, and general worries.
pets

25. Smell Something Familiar

You can light a candle, spray on perfume, open a packet of comfort food, or light some incense. Familiar scents can help you feel calmer. For some, it may be a food or drink they find comforting. For others, it’s something they associate with a person or event that makes them feel happy or safe. 

 

26. Listen to Calming Music

The type of music depends entirely on your tastes. In general, instrumentals like classical music or jazz are calming for most people. If that’s not your style, then just listening to your favorite music — whether it’s an upbeat or mellow song — is an effective way to distract and comfort yourself.

 

27. Listen to ASMR

Aside from calming music, listening to ASMR or autonomous sensory meridian response videos can be a great grounding technique, too. ASMR is a relaxing sensory experience, where sounds (and sometimes visuals) are used to “trigger” a calming yet spine-tingling sensation to help you feel more relaxed.

You’ll find tons of ASMR videos online. These videos are characterized by clear sounds from everyday objects and soft whispers.

listening to calming music
Calming music as well as listening to ASMR or autonomous sensory meridian response videos can be powerful grounding techniques.

Putting on your favorite TV show or reading a book or graphic novel can work as a grounding technique because it transports your mind to another place, another time, and even another person’s mindset.

28. Put on Your Comfort Show or Movie

Putting on your favorite TV show or a movie from your to-watch list is a great way to mindfully distract yourself from unwanted thoughts and emotions. Watching something — as well as reading a book or graphic novel — works as a grounding technique because it transports your mind to another place, another time, and even another person’s mindset.

29. Watch a Funny Video

If you don’t have time to watch a two-hour movie or even a 45-minute show, then short but funny videos work just as well. A good meme or a clip from your favorite comedian’s latest show can help diffuse any intense emotions you may be carrying. Laughing can help you feel lighter, so you can later tackle the source of your stress with a clearer head.

30. Color in a Coloring Book

In recent years, coloring books have become quite a trend — even among adults. This is thanks to the soothing effect coloring can give you. It not only calms the brain but also keeps it active as you pick out colors and try to stay inside the lines. Coloring also promotes mindfulness and embracing the imperfect.

Coloring also promotes mindfulness and embracing the imperfect.
coloring pages

31. Plan a Fun Activity for Later

Doing something now isn’t the only way to ground yourself to the present moment. Planning something you will enjoy can give the same benefits. This can be something as simple as planning what to cook for yourself or visiting a new cafe with a friend. It can also be an activity that requires more preparation, like an out-of-town trip or going to a concert.

32. Picture Your Favorite Place

If you can’t go to your favorite place physically, then you can visualize it instead. Close your eyes and imagine actually being there — whether it’s a far-off place or your childhood home. Try to remember how the place feels, smells, and even what the surroundings sound like.

vacation
Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place. Is it a place you went on vacation or a spot you frequently visit? 

33. Imagine the Face or Voice of a Loved One

Alternatively, you can also visualize a loved one. It’s important to choose someone that you associate with comfort and safety, or someone who has a calming effect on you. Instead of just picturing how they look, think about how their voice sounds, how they smell, and what they might say.

34. List Down Things That Bring You Joy

What makes you happy? Think about your favorite things — the things that make you smile and leave you with warm, fuzzy feelings inside. You can list them down mentally or on paper. These can be your favorite foods, color, songs, people, or even places you want to go to. Visualize each item you list down as clearly as you can before moving to the next one.

 

35. Say Words of Affirmation

Being kinder to yourself and saying words of affirmation out loud can work wonders in calming you down and soothing your worries. Examples of affirmative, compassionate words are:

 

  • This will pass.
  • I will be okay.
  • I’m strong.
  • I’m doing my best.
  • This is only temporary.
  • I can do this.

Get the Most Out of Grounding Techniques

The key to getting the most out of these grounding techniques is to practice them regularly. Making them a part of your daily routine makes it easier for you to fall back on these practices as soon as you notice yourself in distress or on the verge of an anxiety attack.

Grounding techniques are effective in helping you manage your mental health by yourself. Speaking with a therapist can help you further improve your mental state, as well as learn new grounding exercises.

At Clarity Therapy, we offer a free therapist matching service to help you get connected with the right therapist for you. Simply share your preferences on our questionnaire and our clinical team will provide personalized recommendations to your inbox. All of our therapists provide complimentary phone consultations, so you can see if it feels like a good fit before starting therapy.

Your Turn: Have you found particular grounding techniques helpful in your day to day routines? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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How can breathwork help anxiety? https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-can-breathwork-help-anxiety/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-can-breathwork-help-anxiety/#respond Mon, 16 May 2022 12:43:09 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=19493 Do you have trouble letting things go? Breathwork can help you release anxiety, fear, and live in the present moment.

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How can breathwork help your anxiety? 

Are you finding yourself replaying experience and conversations over and over again in your mind? Do you have trouble letting things go? You might feel stuck analyzing and trying to control what can’t be controlled?

You might think being in our mind can “fix”or provide you with the solution. When truly being stuck in your mind can make your anxiety worse. If you want to learn to trust yourself, improve your anxiety, and feel a deeper connection to yourself, breathwork is a great place to start.

What is breathwork?

finding joy

Breathwork can help you make sense of what feels jumbled in your mind. Breathwork is often used in Somatic Therapy, because it can invite you into your body with a sense of gentleness and compassion.

The practice of connecting with your breath takes us into a rhythmic breath that stimulates your vagus nerve. This tells your body it’s time to relax and de-stress. The vagus nerve helps regulate your breathing and heart rate.

Giving your body the opportunity to experience ease, presence, and safety. There are many forms of breathwork that can help with your anxiety and alter your consciousness.

    If you want to learn to trust yourself, improve your anxiety, and feel a deeper connection to yourself, breathwork is a great place to start

    4 Types of Breathing That Can Help Anxiety 


    1. Box breathing
    is where you exhale for a count of four, hold your lungs empty for a count of four, breath in for a count of four, and then exhale for a count of four. Repeating this pattern, you can maintain this sequence for a couple minutes to gain comfort with the rhythm. 

    2. Belly breathing, also known as diaphragmatic breathing is when you send air into your stomach causing it to balloon out. A way to practice this is to lay on your back and place your hand on your stomach so you can feel your stomach expanding as you send breath into your abdomen with your other hand on your chest. Your hand on your stomach will rise and fall as you inhale and exhale the air from your stomach. Repeat this breath for a few minutes. 

    3. Pursed lip breathing is a simple way to slow down your breathing and make it more intentional. Sitting in a comfortable position you will inhale through your nose for two slow counts and exhale out your mouth for four seconds, pursing your lips together as you exhale. 

    Stimulating the vagus nerve through breathwork tells your body it’s time to relax and de-stress.

     

    4. Holotropic breathing is a form of breathwork that can be done with a facilitator or practiced on your own. You lay down or sit in a comfortable position. This is a three part breath, all through the mouth. With your first breath – the active breath – you’ll be breathing into your stomach – ballooning out your belly, the second breath into the chest (the heart space) and the third breath out through the mouth.

    Repeat this pattern of breath, taking your time to get familiar with how it feels. Continue for a couple minutes and when you’re ready, open your eyes and reflect on how you felt. For instance, what feelings or thoughts came up during that time?

    How can breathwork help ease anxiety?

    Breathwork allows the subconscious mind to come forward so healing can take place. The holotropic breath is a quickening of the breath and involves breathing in a specific pattern.

    The holotropic breath takes us out of the everyday pattern of breath and introduces a new pattern to us. Research shows that this can improve feelings of clarity, self-awareness, and proves a relief from stress, anxiety, and boosts the immune system.

    ​Breathwork is a great way to release emotional pressure within your body. To connect you with your body and to help you move through the emotions you are feeling.

    The breath is movement, and energy. Our emotions and feelings are energy that need to move through us. The breath allows for that movement.

    Changing your everyday pattern of breath allows you to connect with your body and shift the energy of your emotions.

    You practice in moments of sadness, frustration, anger, depression, low energy, when you are looking for deeper exploration and expansion of yourself, or when you need an energy shift.

    This can deepen your connection with yourself and your body, all while teaching your body how to regulate itself and feel your emotions in a safe way. 

    lies in groupthink
    Breathwork allows the subconscious mind to come forward so healing can take place.

    How can I practice breathwork to manage MY anxiety?

    Breathwork can be added into your morning routine and practiced throughout the day. When we first wake up our brain is in what’s called the alpha state. This is when your subconscious mind is readily available to you. This is a great opportunity to practice any form of breathwork.

    Getting Started with Breathwork

    While breathwork may look different from person to person, here are some helpful tips to start and evolve your own breathwork practice. 

    1. Be patient with yourself, exercise the practice of breathwork with gentle curiosity, non-judgement, and compassion.
    2. Practice when you aren’t feeling anxious so when you are it’ll feel more natural to implement the exercise. 
    3. Where is my mind going? Check in with your thoughts while you are in the active breath. Simply noticing the thoughts, without trying to judge, change or force.
    4. How am I feeling at this moment? Check in with the content of your thoughts as well as your physical sensations in your body. Is something distressing me, do I feel tension, or tightness somewhere in my body as a result? 
    5. What thoughts or feelings are no longer serving me? Imagine a certain color with the negative thoughts or emotions that you’d like to release and visualize this as you exhale. 

    lies in groupthink
    By breathing in these new ways, you’re communicating to your brain that it’s safe to relax. 

    Additional Benefits of Breathwork

     

    Some benefits you’ll see is a greater ability to manage your anxiety. When you’re anxious or stressed your breathing is disrupted. By being able to support your breath, you’re helping to regulate your nervous system. 

    Breathwork can cause physiological changes such as lower blood pressure and heart rate. You may experience lower levels of stress hormones in the blood, and increased feelings of contentment and joy. By breathing in these new ways, you’re communicating to your brain that it’s safe to relax. 

    Clients often share that they’re able to release fear and anxiety through breathwork. Additionally, they feel more centered, grounded, and present in their day-to-day experiences. It’s a joy to witness my clients gain purpose and clarity and make changes to live life to its fullest.

     

    You may also notice a subtle shift in your relationships. You’ll begin to feel a deeper connection to yourself and others. You too, can cultivate a sense of peace and silent strength through breathwork. My wish is that this precious tool can carry you through life’s ups and downs, just as it has for me.

    Your Turn: Did this topic resonate with you? Share your experience of breathwork below, or book a complimentary consultation with Melanie to explore the life-changing effects of breathwork for managing anxiety.

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    5 Lessons I Learned About Change From a Recovering Lawyer https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/nyc-therapist-for-lawyers/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/nyc-therapist-for-lawyers/#respond Tue, 20 Apr 2021 23:24:33 +0000 https://resourceful-nonfiction.flywheelstaging.com/?p=13343 Josh Watson is a therapist for lawyers in NYC. Read about the 5 lessons he learned about change from a recovering lawyer.

    The post 5 Lessons I Learned About Change From a Recovering Lawyer appeared first on claritytherapynyc.com.

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    Y ears ago, before becoming a therapist, I was a young lawyer working in New York City. At the time, I was commuting from my apartment in Brooklyn to my office in the Bronx. The journey was especially grueling during the evening rush hour. I would break up the trip by stopping at the halfway point to take a yoga class in lower Manhattan. The difference between the crowded subway car’s chaotic environment and the serenity of the yoga studio was striking. My mid-commute yoga class was a powerful reset to my day, and I became relaxed and at ease for the remainder of my evening when before I had felt stressed and exhausted from a long workday.

    “Recovering Lawyer”

    One of my first yoga teachers was a self-identified “recovering lawyer.” After a long and unhappy career in the corporate world, he left his law practice to study and teach yoga full-time. At the time, the idea of my teacher walking away from his career terrified me. How did he survive financially? What about his student loans? And rent? Could he even afford to have fun? How could someone achieve so much and then walk away from all that hard work and sacrifice? And not just walk away, but choose a career fundamentally different from the law? How was he able to create such dramatic and meaningful change in his life?

    therapist for lawyers
    My mid-commute yoga class was a powerful reset to my day.

    Eventually, I came to realize that my fear and confusion were masking an even more terrifying truth — that I too wanted powerful change in my life. However, my journey did not require that I entirely leave the practice of law, although I did eventually return to school and become a psychotherapist. My process began with a simple but powerful acknowledgment that I was unhappy as a lawyer but did not yet know which career would make me happy.

    Acknowledging your unhappiness and uncertainty can free you up to make small choices that make you happy.

    click to tweet Click to tweet

    Acknowledging both my unhappiness and my uncertainty freed me to make small choices that did make me happy. I traveled to see friends. I took up the guitar. I went on silent meditation retreats. I became a regular at a new favorite restaurant.

    Despite an unhappy career and an uncertain future, I was becoming far better at finding joyful moments in my life. A friend’s mantra that “things have a way of working out perfectly,” no longer sounded delusional and self-indulgent to me. As my days continued to improve, I began to accept the idea that the world around me was friendly and supportive. For the first time, I was centering my life around what intuitively made me happy, instead of assumptions about what might make me happy in the future. Eventually, this simple shift had profound effects and led me to return to school, start a second career, and dramatically reinterpret how I wanted to practice as an attorney.

    therapists for lawyers in nyc
    Centering my life around what intuitively made me happy, instead of assumptions about what might make me happy in the future proved to be transformative.

    I’d like to share some of these simple yet profound lessons that I learned and was able to apply to my own journey.

    5 Lessons About Change From a Recovering Lawyer:

    1. Move away from all or nothing thinking
    2. Embrace the whole truth
    3. Choose to be guided by pleasure instead of fear
    4. Identify what’s in your control when things feel uncertain
    5. Acknowledge how your experience of misfortune shifts over time

    1. Move away from all-or-nothing thinking

    In the world of addiction and twelve step, people often refer to hitting “rock bottom.” Life at its absolute worst is a rare opportunity for change because once life becomes unbearable, the only option is to do the challenging work of sobriety. However, most of us are not living unbearable lives, and we never hit rock bottom. Instead, we stay in our unhappy careers and relationships because we know that although our current situation isn’t great, things could always be worse. Instead of taking action, we stay where we are, and we remain unhappy in our bearable but unsatisfying lives. We stay trapped because we assume our happiness is dependent on deciding whether to stay in the career or leave, stay in the relationship or leave. However, the path toward change does not require us to make such a stark choice and only paralyzes us from moving forward.

    Change only requires us to take the next small step toward something that brings us some amount of happiness, excitement, or joy.

    click to tweet Click to tweet

    Change only requires us to take the next small step toward something that brings us some amount of happiness, excitement, or joy. We do ourselves a disservice when we assume change happens quickly and predictably. The recovering lawyer did not wake up one day, quit his job, and become a yoga teacher. His transformation journey began years ago with a small step toward change — enrolling in his first yoga class.

    We do ourselves a disservice when we assume change happens quickly and predictably.
    therapists for lawyers seeking change

    2. Embrace the whole truth

    How do we know where to begin? To start, it’s helpful to see the complete picture of our lives. The brain struggles with nuance or paradox. It’s challenging to acknowledge the contradictions that often fill our lives. We may value honesty and also tell white lies. We may love our spouse and also want a divorce. We may hate our jobs, and also enjoy our annual bonus.

    Unless we acknowledge the contradictions in our lives, we’re not looking at the whole truth.

    click to tweet Click to tweet

    Our brains evolved to make snap decisions to keep our prehistoric ancestors safe from predators and danger. However, daily life in our modern world is far more complex and nuanced. Unless we acknowledge the contradictions in our lives, we’re not looking at the whole truth. Without this fine lens, our action or inaction may be based on erroneous thinking.

    In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, we practice embracing contradiction as a helpful starting place for change. By acknowledging that we may both hate our jobs and want our bonus, we learn that staying in the position or leaving will not lead to happiness. Leaving the job satisfies the part of us that hates our job, but staying satisfies the part that wants the bonus. Therefore, we begin to understand that we must start by looking elsewhere for opportunities for positive change.

    3. Choose to be guided by pleasure instead of fear

    Albert Einstein reportedly said the first and most basic question we must answer for ourselves is whether we live in a friendly universe. Does our world support us in exploring life and our creative pursuits? Or do we live in a hostile universe where safety requires our constant vigilance? Without realizing it, many of us were taught from a young age that the world is far more dangerous than supportive. Not surprisingly, we base our decisions (what we do for a living, who we date, how we parent) on assumptions about what keeps us safe and protected from harm and not on what maximizes our pleasure and joy.

    Unfortunately, this often leads to anxiety and depression, and our attempts to guarantee safety come at the direct cost of our freedom. Avoiding a broken heart limits our ability to be vulnerable and deepen our relationships. Avoiding the discomfort that comes with a job interview limits our ability to advance professionally.

    What type of universe do you live in? Do you fill your days with pleasure-seeking or risk-avoidant activities?

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    What type of universe do you live in? Do you fill your days with pleasure-seeking or risk-avoidant activities? If you’re unsure, a helpful question to ask is, “Am I having fun?” For example, when you eat delicious food, do you tend to think about the calories and health consequences (fear-based), or do you savor each flavorful bite (pleasure-based)? During your morning shower, do you spend the time anxiously reviewing your daily to-do list, or do you take a few minutes to appreciate a good scalp massage? While it may seem overly simplistic, don’t discount the power of aligning your focus with pleasure. After all, Marie Kondo has built a multi-million dollar business helping others make decisions based on what sparks joy.

    During your morning shower, do you spend the time anxiously reviewing your daily to-do list, or do you take a few minutes to appreciate a good scalp massage?
    coping with anxiety

    4. Identify what’s in your control when things feel uncertain

    Although the tradeoff of sacrificing our pleasure for our safety might seem rational, guaranteed safety is an illusion. We may feel immediately better after choosing the “safe” option, but the long-term effect is often detrimental to our happiness and joy.

    Although the tradeoff of sacrificing our pleasure for our safety might seem rational, guaranteed safety is an illusion. We may feel immediately better after choosing the ‘safe’ option, but the long-term effect is often detrimental to our happiness and joy.

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    Moreover, the pandemic showed us that it’s not possible to predict the future. Despite our best-laid plans, the world and our lives were turned upside down in an instant. For many of us, the global pandemic revealed that we have far less control over our lives, our plans, others, and our safety than we thought we did. Interestingly enough, the pandemic seemed to permit us to begin to live more authentically. People left unhappy relationships and unsatisfying careers for new paths they’d only daydreamt about.

     For many, it was a welcomed relief to turn down social or family obligations without much guilt or afterthought. Perhaps the perspective of realizing life is often too short and unpredictable forced people to evaluate what they truly wanted. As a result, many people were emboldened to make profound changes. If the pandemic taught us one thing, it’s that we cannot control the future, but we can make small daily choices to live more joyfully in the present moment. 

    We cannot control the future, but we can make small daily choices to live more joyfully in the present moment. 

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    5. Acknowledge how your experience of misfortune shifts over time

    Many of us have experienced negative life events that, in hindsight, were blessings in disguise. Years after a messy breakup with an ex who broke your heart, you may realize that ending the relationship was the best thing you ever did. Or a missed job opportunity that caused you so much shame and self-doubt was a blessing in disguise due to the lack of support, a dysfunctional team, or any number of reasons.

    Often procrastination in writing a paper or working on a project leads to days or even weeks of stress. Yet in the eleventh hour, we may be struck with inspiration where everything falls into place, making the final product far better. This isn’t to discount negative life experiences, but rather a reminder that we often gain a fresh perspective with distance from our problems, and helpful to keep in mind when we’re feeling paralyzed to make a change that feels life-altering. 

    The bottom line on change

    As humans, we intuitively know what brings us pleasure and joy. By consciously choosing to prioritize happiness, we can live more authentically and strengthen our intuition and creativity. By recognizing what gives us pleasure, we become consciously aware of what is currently causing us displeasure in our lives. Only then do we begin to move toward joy, aligned with our true selves and away from self-doubt, pain, and living a life for others.

    Your Turn: What ways have you created meaningful change in your own life? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments below.

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    How Video Games Give Us a Peek Into The Window of Ourselves https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/video-games/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/video-games/#respond Fri, 12 Mar 2021 05:17:23 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=12948 Do you find yourself playing video games more and more as social distancing and quarantines continue? You’re not alone. Explore your gaming.

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    D o you find yourself playing video games more and more as social distancing and quarantines continue?

    You’re not alone.

    The Entertainment Software Association reports that in 2020, 214.4 million Americans played some type of video game. Furthermore, video games have become a central feature of people’s lives, especially since the start of the pandemic. According to Nielsen Videogame Tracking, the number of people playing video games increased 46% in the United States since the start of the pandemic.

    Video games are a wide-ranging artistic medium created using computer software. In today’s world, it is easy to access games with action-adventures, role playing, puzzles, and more. Actually, the device you’re reading this on likely supports some type of video game.

    Unveiling the false stereotype

    The power of play, especially video games, transcend age, gender, and where we live. The long-held stereotype that only teenage boys play video games is no longer true. According to a 2020 study, more adult women endorse playing video games than children and teenagers under the age of 18.

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    Video games and online gaming transcend age, gender, and where we live.

    The benefits of online gaming

    Playing video games can be entertaining, but there also can be psychological benefits to picking up the game controller or logging online.

    • Online gaming can be a great way to stay connected safely during the pandemic. In multiplayer games, you can jump on with friends who you may not have seen in a long time due to constraints on gathering and traveling.

    • It provides a chance to jump into an alternative reality, take a break from our own minds, and be in control.

    • Video games and online gaming teaches people how to learn and navigate systems within a virtual environment. They encourage and promote both private and social interactions. For example, Cyberpunk 2077 is an open world role playing game recently released by CD Projeckt Red. In this game, players can choose how they interact with the Cyberpunk world. From the groups they join to their appearance modifications, numerous choices and interactions are possible.

    • Online games can help us develop a wide range of skills including spatial awareness and critical thinking. For example, Call of Duty and League of Legends encourage teamwork, decision-making, and communication. The player’s success is contingent on the mastery and communication of the game’s timing and mechanics.

    • Video games and online gaming reinforce the playful process. Video games are a form of play, which is closely linked to creativity and education. When we play, we are able to develop and express curiosity and enjoyment. Donald Winnicott suggested that play was a way of reaching a person’s “true self”. This is the most authentic, creative, and vulnerable form of a person’s personality.

    Taking a look into the window of our true selves

    Today, it’s worth exploring our relationship with all forms of gaming. These relationships can be similar to our relationships with one another. Our relationships with video games can sometimes be beneficial and other times, it can be unhealthy or even start to impact our lives and our relationships with others. Gaming can support mental stimulation, and offer ways to connect. But when the virtual world begins to take over, it may be that it has gone too far.

    the impact of technology
    Gaming can support mental stimulation, and offer ways to connect. But when the virtual world begins to take over, it may be that it has gone too far.

    How do I know if my gaming has gone too far?

    If you’re finding yourself playing more despite your awareness of how it is impacting your work, school, and relationships, it may be time to reassess.

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    Gaming can become a problem when it begins to disrupt your daily life. If you’re finding yourself playing more despite your awareness of how it is impacting your work, school, and relationships, it may be time to reassess.

    It’s not uncommon to develop an unhealthy habit of wanting or needing to escape through online gaming or video games. The intense and growing focus on playing games may point to addictive routines that need support to help you find new balance.

    Gaming addiction affects individuals of all ages and backgrounds. In fact, The World Health Organization added “gaming disorder” to the section on substance abuse and addictive behaviors in the International Classification of Diseases. There are several indications that you can look for in yourself to know whether your gaming has gone too far. If you are experiencing any of the items listed below, it may be time to seek support.

     

    1. Spending a lot of time thinking about or being preoccupied with gaming

    2. Feeling irritable, angry, sad or frustrated when gaming isn’t possible or others express concern about how much time you spend gaming

    3. Attempting to control the amount of time you spend gaming. For example, promising a partner or loved one that you’ll spend less time gaming but having difficulty doing so.

    4. Losing interest in previous hobbies and entertainment that you used to enjoy because gaming takes up most of your time now

    5. Experiencing problems at work, school, or home (such as arriving late repeatedly, procrastinating or missing deadlines, or generally having trouble finishing necessary daily tasks) due to gaming

    6. Minimizing the true nature of your gaming with family members, therapists, or others. You may experience feelings of guilt or shame and try to avoid discussion of gaming when others bring it up.

    7. Using gaming to escape reality, avoid confronting problems or responsibilities

    8. Individuals in your life have may have expressed concern or worry about the amount of time you spend gaming

    9. A job, significant relationship, education or career opportunity has been jeopardized or lost, directly or indirectly as a result of gaming

    The bottom line

    What’s most important is to stay aware of whether the virtual world is taking over your time and your life. This is important because we may be susceptible to using various forms of gaming as an escape during quarantine.

    What’s most important is to stay aware of whether the virtual world is taking over your time and your life.

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    You may have been looking for control in online gaming and now realizing it has more control over you than you do it. If you’re feeling like you’re online too often or it’s impacting your life, it’s time to take control and get the support you need to live the life you want. Therapy can help you develop a new healthy and productive relationship with online gaming. With support, it is possible to rebalance and discover a healthier relationship with online gaming.

    If you’re not ready to commit to therapy or aren’t sure if your gaming is an issue, resources like Game Quitters is a great place to start. First, take their video game addiction test and then discover helpful tips that can help you quit gaming and begin to find new replacement activities.

    You can lean on us and your support network for help. You’re not alone.

    Your Turn: Is gaming beginning to disrupt your daily life? How have you found ways to rebalance? I’d love to hear what’s helped you in the comments below.

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    How to Set Healthy Boundaries https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-to-set-healthy-boundaries/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-to-set-healthy-boundaries/#respond Thu, 11 Feb 2021 02:11:48 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=12146 The majority of people struggle with healthy boundaries. Learn how you can develop the skills to create healthy boundaries in your own life.

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    The majority of people struggle with creating healthy boundaries. This is true for many of my clients in individual, couples, and family therapy. People lack healthy relational boundaries within their personal and professional worlds. Why is it so difficult for people to establish healthy boundaries? As a therapist and in my own life, I’ve seen the unique impact of the current pandemic on this topic.

    Examine the impact of COVID-19

    In this current era of COVID-19, more and more people have discovered the need for healthy boundaries. It may be true that for the first time in our life we have a legitimate excuse for not doing things. Now you’re able to say, “Sorry mom and dad, I can’t join you for the holidays” or “Sorry, I can’t see you for drinks. I’m quarantining.” You may also find yourself saying,“ I have to sign out of work, because my children need me at home.”

    Taking precautions in the name of the greater good finally gave us permission to step back.

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    Social distancing for some can provide the opportunity to take a break from our usual social obligations. I often witness how many of my clients say “no” to others, but still feel guilty. The question is why did it take a pandemic for us to form healthy boundaries and become more assertive?

    For many, taking precautions in the name of the greater good finally gave us permission to step back. The innate drive of self-preservation in the face of a universal danger may play a role. It’s also possible that some people are simply running out of energy. This pandemic has pushed us to our limits and we’re running on empty. People feel like they have to protect themselves not only from the virus, but from the demands of others. When we’re placed under immense pressure, it’s not uncommon to shut down in self-protection.

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    People feel like they have to protect themselves not only from the virus, but from the demands of others.

    Explore the power of healthy boundaries

    Setting healthy boundaries is about being able to tell others what we want and what we expect from them.

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    Setting boundaries is vital to our emotional wellbeing. Healthy boundaries help people to thrive and feel empowered in their lives. Setting healthy boundaries is about being able to tell others what we want and what we expect from them. It includes setting limits, and letting others know how we want to be treated. It’s also about knowing and communicating what we will and will not tolerate. Setting boundaries establishes what is healthy for us, and what is not. Cultivating the ability to say “No, that doesn’t work for me,” is powerful.

    Reflect on the origin of your own boundaries

    Why is setting healthy boundaries so difficult for some? The ability to form healthy boundaries is often rooted in our family of origin. It’s easy to follow the same patterns we experienced in childhood. These patterns may be maladaptive now, yet feel “safer” and more familiar. As adults it’s helpful to periodically examine our behavior and ask questions such as:

      • Do I have firm, individual self-boundaries, and self-worth?
      • Do I meet my own needs, and practice assertiveness?
      • Am I quick to meet other people’s needs before my own?
      • Do I feel uncomfortable and guilty when saying “no” to others?
      • Do I tell white lies instead of telling the truth for the sake of “keeping the peace” or to avoid confrontation?
      • Do I fear people will judge me if I’m not comforting to others’ needs?
      • Do I take care of myself? Are my needs met?

    It is important to stop and think about why we do what we do. Often, we copy the patterns from our family of origin. Are we quick to jump into problem solving mode which skims the surface? Perhaps we saw how our parents weren’t able to talk about underlying issues. We may have grown up with parents who didn’t ask how we felt but instead told us what to think and do. Sometimes there are cultural and societal expectations. For example, some cultures put pressure on adult children to take care of aging parents. Don’t get me wrong, children supporting aging parents is a selfless thing. However we may be crossing boundaries when a child feels responsible for their parent’s happiness and wellbeing.

    Begin with self-discovery

    If you suspect you have boundary issues consider writing in a daily journal. When does this happen and how does it impact you? Do you find you’re quick to loosen your boundaries in certain situations? It’s important to increase our awareness of our boundaries when they are violated. Try creating your own list of personal boundaries and the ways in which you can realistically uphold each boundary. Verbally clarify your boundaries with others, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.

    To be clear, setting boundaries is not about controlling someone else’s behavior. It’s also not about getting others to agree with you. In fact, the great thing about boundaries is that others don’t have to agree with them for you to enforce them. People in our lives may continue to try to cross our boundaries despite our attempts to get them to see our side of things. Staying steadfast in our boundaries means that no matter the reaction, we’re honoring our needs.

    Try creating your own list of personal boundaries and the ways in which you can realistically uphold each boundary.
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    For example, let’s consider well-meaning in-laws who continue to drop by unannounced to see your newborn. You feel like you barely had time to unpack your hospital bag before they arrived. Their frequent visits at all hours of the day are leaving you feeling drained and intruded upon. Let them know that you appreciate their visits, but need some time alone during this adjustment period. You’ll invite them over when you are more rested and feel ready to welcome visitors again.

    Objectively, this is a reasonable boundary. Yet, you may be accused of being unkind or selfish by others for keeping the new grandchild from the loving grandparents. This pushback may lead to feelings of guilt which may cause you to abandon your healthy boundary. When negative feelings and disapproval from others is overwhelming, this is when we often abandon our boundaries. For the moment, we’ve kept the peace and gained temporary relief from feeling bad, but at our own expense.

    By setting boundaries you’re in fact honoring what you need.

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    Remember, by setting boundaries you’re in fact honoring what you need. It’s important to hold the tension of saying no. They may complain to you or even try to stop by again hoping you’ll change your mind. In which case, perhaps you choose not open the door or answer the telephone. Following through on healthy boundaries means honoring your needs even when others may disagree.

    The bottom line for creating healthy boundaries

    If something doesn’t feel good, it’s generally not good for us. In one recent session with a client, she described how she was asked to drive a friend to the airport. Since she did not have a job, she felt obliged. Now, this client is terribly afraid of driving on busy roads, but was ashamed to admit this to her friend. She reluctantly agreed with high anxiety and off they went. She ended up hitting a toll booth. Both the driver and her passenger were quite scared. Since then she has learned the benefit of saying “no,” and practices establishing healthy boundaries with others.

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    One way to begin to set healthy boundaries is to stop placing so much value on what other people think and feel.

    It can be difficult, but one way to begin to set healthy boundaries is to stop placing so much value on what other people think and feel. It’s important that we stop living our lives based on what we should do according to others. Let’s focus on self-acceptance and treat our own needs without judgment or criticism. Be brave enough to tell people how you feel and what works or doesn’t work for you. Say yes to cultivating the personal authority that is already within you. When you do this, you will be able to also say yes to the requests that align with you and say no enthusiastically to those that don’t.

    Your Turn: How can you begin to set healthier boundaries? I’d love to hear how you are creating new boundaries in the comments below.

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    Spirituality, Psychology, and the Benefits of Looking Inside Oneself https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/spirituality-psychology-and-the-benefits-of-looking-inside-oneself/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/spirituality-psychology-and-the-benefits-of-looking-inside-oneself/#respond Thu, 14 Jan 2021 00:49:15 +0000 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/?p=11034 Contemporarily, the fields of religion have been considered a separate entity from psychology; however, this may not be an either-or scenario.

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    I recently spoke at a religious retreat at the Loyola House of Retreats in Morristown, New Jersey. The subject was the integration of religious belief and practice with psychological understanding. Contemporarily, the fields of religion have been considered a separate entity from psychology. Yet there is a growing awareness that this may not be an either-or scenario.

    Modern psychology is not much more than a century in its formation. Sigmund Freud is usually credited with beginning the movement. Systems of orienting human beings to the great mysteries of birth, life and eventual death have always existed. Religious systems carried this task for many centuries.

    But with the dawn of the scientific age, religion took a back seat to the medical model. This medical model now dominates much of the field of mental health. An early analyst, Otto Rank stated that because religions “lost the Cosmos” humankind became neurotic. As a result, we had to invent psychoanalysis to deal with this neurosis.

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    An early analyst, Otto Rank stated that because religions “lost the Cosmos” humankind became neurotic. As a result, we had to invent psychoanalysis to deal with this neurosis.

    The quest for symptom relief in modern society’s psychology

    I am primarily a Jungian by orientation and so tend to be more welcoming to a religious perspective. Carl Jung stated that his most successful patient work happened when a patient gained a religious perspective. Now he did not mean that one should run off to join an institutional system. Rather that one should seek to acquire greater existential meaning in one’s life. How this looks and feels to me differs from another’s.

    Today, modern therapy often focuses on relieving symptoms, such as depression and anxiety. Medication is a part of the treatment process to assist in the reduction of symptoms. For some individuals this is a preferred and desirable approach. For others, a deeper therapeutic approach is necessary.

    There may be a future of possibilities for one’s life which are not yet realized.

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    Depth psychology and religion share this orientation to a large extent. Symptoms may be considered as meaningful on an existential level. There may be a teleological nature to a person’s suffering. In other words, there may be a future of possibilities for one’s life which are not yet realized.

    Jiddu Krishnamurti was an early teacher of Eastern traditions to the West starting in the 1920’s. He presented a memorable thought; that it is not a sign of emotional health to be well-adjusted to a sick society. Now we can readily see the sickness in a society, such as the Nazi regime in the past century. But how adept are we at questioning the “sickness” of our own society? Are we emotionally healthy if we do our best to fit in and copy the trends of the time?

    Looking for answers to emotional wellness in the medical model

    The West has become rich in materialism and technology generating many benefits. Perhaps this moves people towards the unhealthy habit of always looking (often in futility) for external answers. Rather than going inward, our contemporary society promotes this approach. I sometimes counsel patients who look outside of themselves to alleviate their suffering. There is a search for the right tool or technique that will lead to perfect wellbeing.

    At times I must be blunt and state to a client that I have no specific external homework for them to “practice.” The practice is actually the cultivation of going inward. And by all means engage in a practice, such as meditation, to help facilitate wellbeing. Towards this regard we have an atypical answer. Provided by the late mythologist Joseph Campbell when asked about his spiritual practice. His reply was that he swam 44 laps in a pool daily and ended the day with a scotch!

    However, as Jung noted, she or he who looks outward alone, dreams. He or she who looks inward, awakens. We have become too often a society of symptom management. And we frequently follow a medical styled model in the search for emotional wellness. We wonder, “can this pill solve my issues?”

    I am a firm believer and practitioner of appropriate psychopharmacology. I have treated outpatient psychosis and severe states of depression. In these instances I am grateful for the “blessings” medication can provide.

    We frequently follow a medical styled model of psychology in the search for emotional wellness. We wonder, “can this pill solve my issues?”
    open palm holding a bunch of white round pills

    Cultivating and defining one’s spirituality

    I have never seen a medication alone solve a client’s existential problem. This issue still demands a therapeutic discussion, with grounding in some spiritual practice. Now this practice can be quite varied in approach. It could mean embracing a formal religious or spiritual practice or not.

    I knew a man who traveled to India in search of a Guru who would help him solve his addiction problems. Instead of having this suffering man adopt Eastern traditions, the Guru asked a simple question. “To what spiritual tradition were you born into?” “Why I was raised in Judaism”, his reply. “Well then, my son, go back home and be a Jew!” So he did, and having met him 10 years later, Jay is a sober practicing Jew.

    How adept are we at questioning the ‘sickness’ of our own society? Are we emotionally healthy if we do our best to fit in and copy the trends of the time?

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    Perhaps this is an example of what set 12-step programs into motion in the first place. Analytical psychologist Carl Jung suggested to an alcoholic patient that he seek a religious conversion. As a result, AA and other forms of addiction treatment came to fruition. But at the core of this process is the exchange of the drink of a spirit with the cultivation of the spiritual. I have a personal friend who often attends open meetings because, “they feed my spirit.” She is not an alcoholic, but she admits being hungry for that which is spiritual. And Alcoholics Anonymous meetings are exactly where she gets her fill.

    Clients often ask for homework that they can “practice”. The practice is actually the cultivation of going inward.
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    The interrelationship between psychology and religion is a consideration of profound importance. Volumes have been written on the subject and volumes more await. Some 2500 years ago the great pre-socratic philosophers, such as Paramenedes, cautioned against our current Western cultures’ propensity to require clean divisions among the academic disciplines. This most definitely pertains to our understanding of the roles of psychology and religion in the welfare of the human soul. Perhaps it is time to regard their warnings and open the dialog.

    Your Turn: What possibilities in your life have not yet been realized? How have you cultivated your spirituality? I’d love to hear what’s helped you in the comments below.

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    The Impact of Travel Restrictions on Mental Health https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/the-impact-of-travel-restrictions-on-mental-health/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/the-impact-of-travel-restrictions-on-mental-health/#respond Thu, 10 Dec 2020 07:00:00 +0000 http://resourceful-nonfiction.flywheelsites.com/?p=8719 The current pandemic restrictions have impacted our ability to nurture our traveling mindsets. Learn how to cope with travel restrictions.

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    The current pandemic restrictions have impacted our ability to nurture our traveling mindsets. It impacts both the mindset of the traveler who seeks the adrenaline rush of facing the unknown as well as the individual who is looking for solace and a quiet release from the tensions of daily life.

    The proverbial question, whether in therapy or not, remains “To what end”? Travel limitations can serve as a very real form of psychological prison whether an individual is escaping the ordinary either towards an adventure or away from a reality. We also may consider any psychological conditions that a person may already be experiencing. A person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) will very likely react to the same circumstances in a different manner than a person who is feeling depressed. When traveling is permitted, it may be now a source of tension as we attempt to navigate what feels safe.

    Learn how travel restrictions may impact our mental health, and what we can do about it.


    Discover what attracts you to traveling

    My partner and I are both psychotherapists who have engaged in a great deal of travel. The first question to consider is what kind of travel primarily attracts you. Is it a week on a Carribean beach or high adventure? Perhaps something in between? For the two of us, adventure generally wins.

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    When traveling, do you long for adventure?

    Focus on the good news

    The good news is that while facing travel restrictions, not everything needs to be virtual. You can still travel and explore, you just may need to look in new places.

    You can still travel and explore, you just may need to look in new places.
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    Currently New York State parks are open for hiking, biking, and camping. More and more destinations are open, with the necessary precautions of course.

    Plan for future travel

    You can use this time to enhance your travel skill sets, explore your curiosity, and develop your traveling desires through online courses. Plan your travel itinerary so you’ll be ready once things open up. It may be helpful to consider that despite the current restrictions, these times of less travel can also serve as a vessel for reflection, contemplation, and future planning.

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    These times of less travel can also serve as a vessel for reflection, contemplation, and future planning.

    Practice being open-minded

    If you are able to be open-minded, prepare to be surprised. Some regular travelers have discovered the wonders that they would have missed had they not had the opportunity to change course in their thinking.

    If you are able to be open-minded, prepare to be surprised.
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    Some are even using this time as a form of Sabbatical from the usual demands of their life. Others are in the process of making major changes as they have used this time for reflection to align themselves more with the life that they want to live. See what options you have in your thinking and work from this orientation.

    Find adventures in your own backyard

    Our clients who usually “fly away” to different countries have discovered adventures in their own backyard – the camping trips, bonfires, outdoor cooking, and observing nature with its true colors. For the first time in our experiences with clients, they have talked about bird watching, sunsets they observed, walks, and hikes. They have discovered the Adirondacks and the Catskills for the first time. Become aware of nature and the possibilities. Rent a car or take your bike out of storage.

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    Become aware of nature and the possibilities.

    Ask yourself to reflect and be present

    Ask yourself – why do you travel? Is it to escape, and if so, from what, from whom, from ourselves? If the answer is yes, we need to look into our lives and figure out why we aren’t able to find an adventure in our own backyard. Do we stay present? Do we notice what is around us? Are we paying enough attention to our surroundings? The bottom line is “wherever you go, here you are..” and it is up to us to make our life happen.

    Create the possibilities

    We both are travel addicts and we travel at least two times a year to exciting destinations. Remember that “small” and seemingly “not important” trips can become the highlight of the season. This summer, we went camping under the stars with our dog, which was a great experience. If not for the limitations of international travel, we would not have discovered this adventure.

    There is a life out there if we want to create it, but possibly, it takes more effort to create magic.
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    It’s true that we did skip restaurants and bars but we experimented with fine home cuisine and drinks outside, picnic style. There is a life out there if we want to create it, but possibly, it takes more effort to create magic.


    The bottom line of traveling

    We can remind ourselves that there’s plenty of opportunities to experience life, even though it feels restricted lately. There is power in finding gratitude for being alive. This will pass and we should all be checking in with ourselves moment-by-moment to make sure we are getting our needs met.

    Your Turn: How will you remind yourself that there are still limitless possibilities for adventures amidst travel restrictions? Share what helps you cope in the comments below.

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    7 Coping Tips for Anxiety From a Psychologist https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/7-coping-tips-for-anxiety/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/7-coping-tips-for-anxiety/#respond Sun, 20 Sep 2020 23:00:36 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=4694 Learn 7 coping tips for anxiety and discover strategies that therapists actually use to help them with their own anxious thoughts.

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    It’s sometimes easy to lose sight of the importance of your own self-care when you’re so focused on others. Now more than ever, with the continuation of social unrest, the ongoing pandemic, and working remotely, we’ve had to get creative with how we take care of ourselves. 

    As a Psychologist, I struggle to be fully present for others if I’m running on empty myself. Here are several practical strategies for coping with anxiety that I use when I need to feel more grounded. 

    1. Use Mantras to Root Myself in the Present

    I frequently find myself “time traveling”, which means stepping outside of the present moment and either replaying a past event in my mind or projecting some imagined future.

    The only time that truly matters is now.

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    Whenever we leave the present moment, we create problems for ourselves and others. The only time that truly matters is now. “Time traveling” with our thoughts is a potential rabbit hole, and diving headfirst into it won’t help boost your mood. Given the current uncertainty, it’s understandable that people catastrophize about what may lie ahead, because in this case we have very few answers—unfortunately, everyone is in the same boat.

    How I cope: When I find myself “time traveling”, I remind myself that the only time that matters is this very moment. My favorite mantras that bring me back into the present are one-word statements such as “Release” and simply “Now”. A more developed mantra might be something like “Life starts now”, “Everything I need in this moment already exists within me”, and “Life flows in me, through me, and out into the universe in every moment.”

    Everything I need in this moment already exists within me.

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    Each of these mantras serves me during times of stress or when I’m feeling lost or lacking clarity. These mantras and affirmations have evolved and expanded over time as I’ve done my own self-development work. I share them with my therapy clients, and then I encourage them to sit with whatever resonates with them, evolving the mantra to fit their needs.

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    Each of these mantras serves me during times of stress or when I’m feeling lost or lacking clarity.

    2. Remind Myself That it is Okay to Not Be Hyperproductive

    In general, I’m a super-achiever. Working therapeutically with entrepreneurs and being a small business owner myself, I have to hold this in mind and be careful not to project this neurosis onto other people, including my clients and associates. During periods of stress, we all function and cope differently, so why would now be any different?

    How I cope: I start with trying to be a bit more compassionate and forgiving toward myself. Unless I’m more attuned to myself in the present moment, I’m usually not even aware of the self-critical or judgemental thoughts that I sometimes tell myself. We truly can be our own worst enemies. When this happens, I tell myself to turn up the volume on my self-awareness of my inner dialogue.

    What am I telling myself? What would I say to a friend or loved one who’s experiencing similar guilt over productivity? Would you tell your friend to do more than what they feel they can right now?

    This is the time to set aside behaving like a super human and just take good care of myself.

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    Of course not! In practicing this, I treat myself as I would a friend and challenge self-defeating thoughts, especially those that include “shoulds” and “musts.” This is the time to set aside behaving like a super human and just take good care of myself.

    3. Use Stillness as an Opportunity to Reset

    Like most people before this crisis, I was suffering from a fair degree of burnout. I’ve been craving a moment to pause and catch my breath, and I’ve used this time to give myself permission to be still and appreciate the natural ebb and flow of life. I’ve also been in awe with the stillness and peace that I’ve found within Mother Nature. In all places, there is a restorative opportunity to use stillness to reset and take care of ourselves.

    How I cope: Instead of dwelling on the negative, I remind myself of some of the positive outcomes of this quarantine. I’ve allowed myself to have quality time virtually connecting with family and loved ones, to pick up a neglected hobby or forgotten projects, and to simply give myself time to put unfulfilling tasks on pause, and breathe a bit deeper.

    In all places, there is a restorative opportunity to use stillness to reset and take care of ourselves.
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    4. Embrace My Own Vulnerability

    I’ve had profound moments of clarity in acknowledging my own vulnerability. I’ve found myself reflecting on how precious life is and how vulnerable life can be. When we’re open and vulnerable with others, it gives us an opportunity to feel heard and cared for.

    When we’re open and vulnerable with others, it gives us an opportunity to feel heard and cared for.

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    How I cope: I’ve been speaking more candidly with my therapy clients. As a therapist who was taught to always be a perfectly neutral “blank” slate, this shift has been refreshing, and has taken the work to a different level. In my private life, I’ve been sharing feelings with trusted friends, family, and even my own therapist. If my clients ask, I’ve chosen to share some of my personal experiences with them as we all find our way through this time. Even therapists aren’t superhuman, and I like to acknowledge that, yes, sometimes things are hard, and maybe we’re not doing this perfectly, but we’re doing our best.

    By being vulnerable, I give others permission to speak openly, be seen and held, and receive a deeper, more humane and authentic level of support. It’s not always easy to be vulnerable, but this radical shift has reminded me that authenticity and demonstrating the vulnerability of my own humanity is worth it.

    5. Practice Gratitude and Recognize Abundance

    I take a few moments at the start of each day to consider all I have to be grateful for. It’s a wonderful way not only to take stock of my life, but to practice mindfulness, reduce anxiety, and increase the overall quality of my life.

    How I cope: In order to not feel so weighed down during periods of stress or uncertainty, I take time to identify what I’m grateful for. Simply reframing my perspective and acknowledging the good around me is critical to staying balanced when things are tough. It’s so easy to get sucked in a doom-and-gloom mindset, and it’s important to have tools ready to challenge that mentality.

    6. Focus on Breathing and Muscle Relaxation

    I know from my studies that controlled breathing exercises can do some pretty amazing things. They can drastically reduce stress hormones and lactic acid flowing in your body, lower your blood pressure and heart rate, nudge blood flow back into equilibrium, improve immune function, and increase feelings of wellbeing. Even with this knowledge, though, I often forget to put these exercises into practice.

    How I cope: When I’m stressed, I focus on the sensations in my body. I notice how my body tenses and my breathing becomes shallow. And when I’m relaxed, I pay attention to how my breathing becomes deeper and more restorative.

    Pay attention to how your breathing becomes deeper and more restorative when you are able to relax.

     

    We each have the power to move out of distress patterns more quickly if we harness the power of our breath.

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    We each have the power to move out of distress patterns more quickly if we harness the power of our breath. By consciously moving my breathing from my chest to my abdomen, using the diaphragm, I move the nervous system into parasympathetic mode, giving myself a chance to just “relax.” Right before bed—or while I’m in bed—I tense up my body and relax it, and then find some visualization to help soothe me. This can be especially effective for people who are anxious and stressed.

    7. Demonstrate Small Acts of Kindness and Forgiveness

    Every act of kindness in the world counts, and this is a time when the world needs such gestures more than ever. We should do all we can to demonstrate kindness to those around us, and to be conscientious of people who are at risk and vulnerable.

    How I cope: I’ve discovered that demonstrating forgiveness for myself and others opens up my life tremendously. You must forgive any mistakes you’ve made and any resentment you feel toward others. You cannot feel any sort of self-love as long as you have a constant flow of negative thoughts.

    Love is an act of will and consciousness. It’s not passive; it’s an active decision to see the goodness in yourself, others, and the world despite all its dysfunction.

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    Love is an act of will and consciousness. It’s not passive; it’s an active decision to see the goodness in yourself, others, and the world despite all its dysfunction. I often ask myself the simple question, “What can I do to positively impact someone else’s life today?” Within my practice, I place therapists at the center of the work, because they’re the source through which this vital energy flows. Expanding further, I’ve tried my best to give each and every employee my reassurance that they will not be in jeopardy, the company will do whatever it can to take care of them, they will be paid, and their health comes first. I know that in taking care of them, they’ll be able to take care of their clients and their work, and I trust that I’ll be taken care of in return.

    The Bottom Line on Coping Tips for Anxiety

    It’s so easy to get sucked in a doom-and-gloom mindset, and it’s important to have tools ready to challenge that mentality. The good news is that there are actionable steps you can take today to ground and soothe yourself. We each need to create our own recipes, but if you’re struggling, experiment with each of these techniques to see which ones fit.

    Your Turn: What ways have you found to relax and cope with your anxiety? I’d love to hear your tips in the comments below.

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    How to Stop Negative Self-Talk: Disrupting Negative Narratives https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-to-stop-negative-self-talk/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-to-stop-negative-self-talk/#respond Mon, 07 Sep 2020 13:15:26 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=4569 No one is perfect,” “we all make mistakes,” “fall to get back up.” What do all of these sayings have in common? They remind us that life does not always go as planned, and mistakes are an inevitable and natural part of life. Many times we hold...

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    “No one is perfect,” “we all make mistakes,” “fall to get back up.” What do all of these sayings have in common? They remind us that life does not always go as planned, and mistakes are an inevitable and natural part of life. Many times we hold mishaps and mistakes against ourselves and others. We continually remind ourselves of our shortcomings, sometimes to the point where they prevent us from having new, great opportunities and experiences.

    We say that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect, but do we honestly believe it? Our thoughts – the beliefs we hold about ourselves and others – are what guide our feelings, shape our behaviors, and influence how we experience the world.

    It is your birthright to be happy and comfortable in your skin, and the only way you can get there is by being aware of your thought patterns and disrupting negative narratives.

    What is a negative narrative?

    Negative narratives are the bad stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. They are the hyper-critical self-talk that plays on a loop in our heads: “I’m not good enough.” “I never do anything right.” “I’m a failure.”

    It’s a fact that all humans make mistakes. So why do we hold on so tightly to our pasts? When we cling to negative self-talk we unconsciously take our mistakes along with us on our life journey.

    When faced with circumstances that remind us of the baggage we’ve been lugging around, we repeat the sad story and prevent ourselves from intentionally learning from the past and living fully in the moment. By reliving the errors we once made, we force new life experiences into the confinements of the past. 

    When we cling to negative self-talk we unconsciously take our mistakes along on our life journey.

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    Living this way seems safe because it’s familiar – some of us have been repeating the same narrative for years – but we need to allow ourselves the opportunity to participate in new, positive experiences where we can display our growth and evolution.

    Let go of your old, oppressive stories and allow yourself to be light with forgiveness and understanding.

     

    So how can we change our negative self-talk?

    Change happens through daily practice. Every day, practice focusing on identifying something that you are grateful for, something you are excited about and something that makes you happy. Practicing mindfulness and uplifting thoughts can help to change the nagging, negative narratives that pop up when life or people disappoint us.

    Include daily reminders like, “The Universe is conspiring for you” and “You’re doing great, give thanks” in your Google calendar or your phone. You can even post uplifting reminders on your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror, so you’re confronted with positivity first thing in the morning.

    We never know when we’ll be faced with problems, so having daily reminders of our greatness can help realign our thoughts on hard days.

    We never know when we’ll be faced with problems, so having daily reminders of our greatness can help realign our thoughts on the hard days.
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    Self-awareness is key for disrupting negative self-talk

    Self-awareness is vital on the journey to creating new and healthy narratives about yourself. Take note of the negative stories as they slide into your consciousness and stop them dead in their tracks. Acknowledge the unhelpful thoughts, then release and replace them with an affirmation or thought that’s based in reality. Self-awareness doesn’t focus on your past – it analyzes who you are now, your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Practice seeing yourself from other people’s perspective, and have enough patience to learn how to navigate particular situations. Will mistakes be made? Yes! Hiccups are inevitable, but so are the lessons that will ensure your life is one of growth and transcendence.

    Understanding you have the power to control your mind can be life-changing. click to tweet Click to tweet

    Self-perception determines our behavior, so if the narrative on repeat in your mind is one of lack, unworthiness and self-loathing, you will display behaviors that reflect those traits. Understanding you have the power to control your mind can be life-changing. In the process of learning how to manage your thoughts, you need first to be aware of those thoughts and actively work towards aligning them with the best version of yourself. Remember, the past only exists in your mind – those mistakes you made and the mishaps you experienced have passed, and now it’s time for your mind to let them go to make space for new, beautiful memories and experiences.
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    In learning how to manage your thoughts, you need first to be aware of those thoughts and actively work towards aligning them with the best version of yourself.

    The life-changing power of choice

    Life isn’t perfect, but we have the power to decide what we focus on and what we think about.  This power can change any undesirable situation into a lesson to propel you forward towards your best life.

    Believe in the power of choice – your beliefs guide your life, so decide to believe that you are in control. You have the ability to choose how you will react in any circumstance. Decide that once the adverse situation has passed or been resolved, you don’t have to relive it anymore. You are given the opportunity to access new insightful experiences every day.

    Use your power for good and watch your life transform.

    Your Turn: How do you combat negative-self talk? What strategies have been successful for you? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments below. 

     

    A version of this post originally appeared on our sister site, NYC Therapy + Wellness.

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    Self-Care on the Weekends https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/self-care-on-the-weekends/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/self-care-on-the-weekends/#respond Thu, 27 Aug 2020 11:43:42 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=4405 Many of us are so invested in work or academics that we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves. Although there are various ways to practice self-care techniques throughout a busy work week, for many, the weekend is the best time to unwind.

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    Many of us are so invested in work or academics that we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves. I’ve heard from so many people who say they feel like they’re on “auto-pilot” mode. They’re so busy that they forget to take a break and enjoy what’s happening in the present moment. Self-care can be a great way to break this cycle. Although there are various ways to practice self-care techniques throughout a busy work week, for many, the weekend is the best time to unwind.

    What is Self-Care?

    The word “unwind” is one way of understanding the term, but “self-care” is really whatever you want it to be. What self-care means for one person, might mean something different for others. So the important first step to understanding this term is to think about what you can do to take care of yourself. What works for you? 

    Some people meditate, read, or exercise; others might write, go to therapy, or take a walk in the park. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing to practice self-care, try doing it fully. Be present during those moments. If you’re walking in the park, simply let yourself walk and enjoy your surroundings. If you’re reading, just focus on the act of reading, and turn off the television or anything else that might be distracting. 

    Be mindful of your self-care technique so you can properly recharge your battery, which gets you through the week. Sometimes we forget how to take care of ourselves or what we truly enjoy doing. If that sounds like you, here are some tips to get started:

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    Tip 1. Make a Commitment to Therapy.

    This is the first tip because it’s one of the best ways of discovering how to take care of yourself while doing it at the same time. By going to therapy, you can not only express bottled-up emotions but also explore and expand your mind to reach a better understanding of yourself and your needs and wants. 

    For those struggling to find time to go to therapy during the week, try looking for therapy on weekends. Options can be more limited, but there are plenty of therapists who work on weekends. 

    If you notice you tend to take work home with you, try setting realistic boundaries to help you maximize your downtime on the weekends.

    Tip 2. Meditate to Relieve Stress.

    Although it might feel challenging at first, or may not be for everyone, meditation is a great way to relax the mind and bring your attention to the present moment. It helps you pause the rapid thoughts going through your brain and just breathe. 

    Meditation is also a moment for you to raise your awareness about thoughts or feelings you didn’t know were there. Although this might sound unpleasant, it’s the first step in not judging thoughts or feelings and instead learning to accept them. 

    I suggest first practicing meditation at home, or wherever else is comfortable, until you get a good grasp on it. Use apps like Headspace or Calm if you need some guidance. There are also many therapists who offer support and guidance with mindful meditation. With enough practice, this can be done during small breaks at work or even on the subway.

    It’s difficult for many people to forget about work and be present with other aspects of life.
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    Tip 3. Leave Work at Work and Welcome the Weekend.

    Possibly one of the most difficult things for many people to do during off-hours is forget about work and be present with other aspects of life. If you notice you tend to take work home with you, try setting realistic boundaries to help you maximize your downtime on the weekends. For example, “I will not do any more work after 5pm.” 

    Keep in mind that it’s impossible to be perfect human beings! Sometimes we need more time to do things. Be fair and respectful to yourself and know your limits. 

    Your Turn: How do you define self-care? I’d love to know if you’ve found success in disconnecting from work and responsibilities in the name of self-care over the weekends. Share your tips in the comments below.

    A version of this post originally appeared on our sister site, NYC Therapy + Wellness.

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    5 Essential Spring Cleaning Tips for the Mind During Coronavirus https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/5-spring-cleaning-tips-for-the-mind/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/5-spring-cleaning-tips-for-the-mind/#respond Wed, 29 Apr 2020 18:13:54 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=2336 Learn some practical tips you can use to clear the unnecessary and unhelpful clutter from your mind.

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    As people around the world find themselves indoors and with a bit more time on their hands, some of us may experience a strong desire for some change and some spring cleaning. When things in our environment feel out of our control, it’s helpful to develop healthy self-soothing practices, and improving the livability of our space is an effective coping strategy.

    Simply by maintaining a well-organized space we can benefit from an improved sense of clarity and calm. After all, Marie Kondo’s approach of asking oneself “Does this spark joy?” helped millions of people shed mounds of clutter that was weighing them down.

    But what about the clutter taking up space in our minds? Necessary self-isolation means we’re not able to maintain normal interactions with our support systems. Many of us have family, health, job or financial worries which leads to increased anxiety, stress, depression, and loneliness. Maybe we’re also dealing with grief because a loved one has been affected by the virus.

    Below are some practical tips you can implement to clear the unnecessary and unhelpful clutter from your mind.

    1. Start with 1% for your spring cleaning

    The important thing is to not get overwhelmed and attempt to change everything at once; that’s where people often fail. Start with the least daunting activity and begin putting everything into perspective. Fifteen minutes is only 1% of your day, so reframe it in your mind like you are only taking 1% of your day to make a significant improvement to your overall health.

    Each morning is a brand new start and a whole new beginning. Don’t take the past with you today; wake up with a clean slate.

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    Slowly start to implement this 1% into your regular routine and you’ll begin to see (and feel) improvements in your life:

    In the Morning: Each morning is a brand new start and a whole new beginning. Don’t take the past with you today; wake up with a clean slate.

    Use your morning to honor and connect with a shared sense of humanity. Shift your mindset by sending loving compassion to each person you pass on your drive or walk. Sending loving energy to others can quickly shift your consciousness from the negative to the positive, and shift your mind away from anxiety you were feeling.

    In the Evening: Each evening, cleanse your mind and prepare yourself for sleep. Don’t drag mental baggage from the day around with you into bed, especially as you wind down.

    For those of us who are working or staying exclusively at home, we no longer have this physical separation of work and home. Try to implement your own physical reset. If you can, leave your home and simply walk once around the block. Once you pass the threshold or your front door or building, commit to leaving your stress, anxiety, worry or sadness at the door.

    Meditation, yoga, physical fitness, reading, and/or cooking are all great spring cleaning activities that can help bridge the gap between your daily activities to winding down at home. Instead of answering emails all day and evening, set yourself a time to officially unplug, just as you would when you turn off your computer for the night and head home.

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    Meditation, yoga, physical fitness, reading, and/or cooking are all great spring cleaning activities that can help bridge the gap between your daily activities to winding down at home.

    2. Designate time to reflect

    Have you ever noticed the more you try to avoid a negative feeling, the more powerful it seems to become? When negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, depression, grief or worry become overwhelming we can reduce their impact by leaning in.

    You can combat this by setting aside a few moments a day to let yourself acknowledge and be curious about your negative emotions. Are you resentful because you haven’t communicated your needs? Are you holding onto past heartbreak? Are you projecting your fear onto others and imagining a dark future?

    Physical space allows room for mental space, so decluttering your personal space can serve as a symbolic way to rid your mind of negative thoughts.

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    Get curious about your feelings, validate them, and see how there are solutions available to you. Once your designated reflection time is up, commit to moving through your day with the positive energy of increased insight into the things that bring down your mood.

    Paradoxically, you may find that by experiencing and appreciating your negative emotions instead of trying to escape them or drown in them, you start to feel wiser and stronger.

    3. Adopt powerful mantras

    Personal mantras are an excellent way to refocus and reaffirm relaxing, positive emotions. Some favorites are “Life starts now”, “Now is the only moment that matters”, “Life flows through me in this moment, and in each moment”, and “Everything I need already exists within me”. Pick a focus affirmation that resonates and feels most natural to you.

    Whatever combination of words that feels right and good is your mantra. Your mantra can evolve over time to best suit you in any given moment or circumstance.

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    Personal mantras are an excellent way to refocus and reaffirm relaxing, positive emotions.

    4. Organize & declutter

    Physical space allows room for mental space, so decluttering your personal space can serve as a symbolic way to rid your mind of negative thoughts. Pick one corner of the room or one drawer and begin to declutter or organize. The goal is to eliminate what no longer serves you.

    Try the Marie Kondo approach and ask yourself honestly: “Does this Spark Joy?” If it doesn’t then thank it for serving its purpose, retire it, and allow yourself to let it go. Your newly cleansed and transformed physical space can help you feel lighter, calmer and more at ease.

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    Decluttering your personal space can serve as a symbolic way to rid your mind of negative thoughts.

    5. Give back to the universe during spring cleaning

    Once you’ve decluttered and organized your space you may have some things to pass on that are still in good condition. By donating something, buying something or investing in something related to your own wellbeing you’re promoting the flow of money or things throughout the universe.

    Why cling to something that you don’t need when it could flow through and potentially improve someone else’s life? Your conscientious donation aligns with and maintains the ever changing flow of the universe.

    During this time remember to not only take care of your physical space but also your mental headspace. By not waiting until we’re in a desperate mental headspace, and instead committing to periodic spring cleaning “check ups” we can effectively reset and improve our mental health for free.

    Your Turn: How do you like to spring clean your mindset? I’d love to hear your tips in the comments below.

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    7 Effective Relaxation Techniques to Manage Stress & Anxiety https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/effective-relaxation-techniques/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/effective-relaxation-techniques/#respond Tue, 28 Apr 2020 04:12:25 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=2255 Relaxation techniques work by helping our body to manage the fight-or-flight response of our sympathetic nervous system.

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    Relaxation techniques are helpful strategies that you can implement to reduce stress and anxiety. For some, these techniques may be useful for managing unpleasant symptoms associated with panic attacks.

    Relaxation techniques work by helping our body to manage the fight-or-flight response of our sympathetic nervous system. When this system is triggered it sends a signal to our brain that we’re in danger when in fact we may just be sitting on our couch.

    Relaxation techniques work by helping our body to manage the fight-or-flight response of our sympathetic nervous system.

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    Relaxation techniques have a calming effect on the body because they promote a physiological transition from our “fight or flight” state to our “rest and digest” state. As a result, anxiety and uncomfortable physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate, shallow breathing, perspiration or hot flashes, and negative and intrusive thoughts gradually subside.

    It’s important to practice these relaxation techniques even when you are not feeling particularly anxious in order to get the most benefit. This helps re-train our brain and body back to a ‘baseline’ state that’s calm and not flooded with cortisol.

    There is no single “best” technique. The best relaxation technique is simply the one that you’ve discovered works best for you, so choose one that appeals to you and can be easily incorporated into your lifestyle.

    Try to practice some of these for several minutes each day if you can. By establishing this habit, you’ll have your go-to set of techniques ready to use whenever panic or anxiety arise.

    1. Guided meditation

    Guided meditation is clear, and simple. Most people feel overwhelmed when they’re faced with the prospect of having to just sit down and relax so this form of meditation can provide structure for people who feel like they need guidance and focus.

    Additionally, there is something very powerful and almost primal about listening to a soothing, caring, and reassuring voice that makes us feel less alone. It’s like having the maternal or paternal voice inside our heads that we needed growing up. Having a benevolent voice guiding you shifts you into a relaxed state where you are in a more receptive mode.

    This guided tutorial style also allows you to adopt more of a student role with the guided voice being your psycho-spiritual teacher.

    There is something very powerful and almost primal about listening to a soothing, caring, and reassuring voice that makes us feel less alone.
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    2. Envision yourself radiating good energy

    This imaginative relaxation technique requires you to be creative and imagine yourself when you are most safe, self-assured, charismatic, and in a state of flow with a better version of yourself.

    Start by envisioning the person that you would have to be–the things you would have to say, the way you would have to present yourself, how you treat people–and conjure up the personality type you would need to embody in order to experience this life.

    As you do this, you spend time breathing in this new image of yourself and expanding into this version of yourself so that this energy pattern becomes more of your new normal. It’s almost as if you’re imprinting this onto your psyche.

     

    The best relaxation technique is the one that you use, so choose one that appeals to you and can be easily incorporated into your lifestyle.

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    3. Pick-a-mantra

    Personal mantras are an excellent way to focus on and reaffirm relaxing emotional experiences. Start by picking some kind of focus affirmation that you can proclaim as your own and reaffirm it within yourself. Pick one that resonates and feels most natural to you.

    You have your own unique voice and innate wisdom, so use this to create your own special recipe. Whatever combination of words feels most right to you, then that’s the mantra that you should be rehearsing in your mind.

    Some of my favorites during times of stress are statements like “Release,” “Relax,” “Life starts now,” “Everything I need already exists within me,” and “Life flows in me and through me and out into the world.”

    Your mantra or affirmation should evolve and expand over time to fit what is really best suited for you in any given moment and when confronted with any given circumstance.

    muscle relaxation
    Try when you’re in bed to tense up your body for 10 seconds and then relax it. You can also add some visualization to deepen the effects of this exercise. Envision yourself physically releasing or letting go in a safe or beautiful place.

    4. Progressive muscle relaxation

    There’s a few ways you can use progressive muscle relaxation as an effective relaxation technique.

    One way is to start at your toes and progressively work your way up by tensing and then releasing each muscle group in your body: from your toes to your calves, to your thighs, to your midsection, your trunk up into your chest, your arms, fingers, neck and finally in your face and the crown of your head.

    A lot of people hold tension in various parts of their body and so if you can deliberately focus your attention on where your muscles are constricted or rigid, you can slowly tense and relax these muscle groups so you enter into a more relaxed state.

    Try when you’re in bed to tense up your body for 10 seconds and then relax it. You can also add some visualization to deepen the effects of this exercise. Envision yourself physically releasing or letting go in a safe or beautiful place.

    In essence, you can trick your brain into being happy, lower your heart rate, increase serotonin and endorphin levels, and boost your health.

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    5. Simply smiling can enhance your mood

    Believe it or not, the simple act of smiling can create a neurological cascade of positive feelings. In essence, you can trick your brain into being happy, lower your heart rate, increase serotonin and endorphin levels, and boost your health, even if it is a “forced” smile.

    We’re not endorsing “faking it till you make it”—that’s a form of denial. We never want to be in denial. That being said, smiling is an easy way to create a counterbalance to stress and can shift your energy in stressful moments.

    Try and spend 30-60 seconds gently smiling every morning and throughout your day to supercharge your mood.

    Smiling is an easy way to create a counterbalance to stress and can shift your energy in stressful moments.
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    6. Controlled breath work is a gamechanger

    When we are stressed, our breathing slows and becomes shallow. And when we are relaxed, our breathing is deep and restorative. Luckily, you have the power to move out of this distress pattern more quickly if you harness the power of your breath.

    Controlled breathing exercises can drastically reduce the stress hormones and lactic acid flowing in your body, lower your blood pressure and heart rate, nudge blood flow back into equilibrium, improve immune functioning, and increase feelings of wellbeing.

    By consciously moving your breathing from your chest to your abdominal areas, breathing using the diaphragm, you move the nervous system into parasympathetic mode, you give yourself a chance to just “relax”.

    7. Therapy

    Therapy can help you develop each of these practices By simply giving yourself that 45 minutes or an hour to be with another human being who is interested and invested in you, and is there to reassure you that, in spite of all of the life’s stress and anxiety, that you got this.

    Whether through visualization exercises or physiological methods to help you balance your sympathetic nervous system, these relaxation techniques can help you better manage your stress and anxiety. Try to implement a variety of these practical relaxation techniques and notice the difference in how you feel afterwards.

    Your Turn: What techniques do you use to relax and relieve anxiety? Let me know in the comments below!

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    Remembering and Returning to Joy https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/remembering-and-returning-to-joy/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/remembering-and-returning-to-joy/#respond Mon, 27 Apr 2020 19:18:15 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=2219 Many people think of joy as something that has to be searched for and attained, rather than something that is allowed and cultivated with intention.

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    At first glance, it seems like we all have different goals, desires, and definitions of success, but there’s one thing we need to remember that we have in common: the desire to return to the experience of joy.

    Indeed, a life purpose we share in our humanity is to return to joy.

    Each day, we’re given the blessing of arising to a new morning. It’s as if the universe is conspiring for you to be happy. Look at how any child is born. We were not born on earth to live unhappy, unsatisfied, inauthentic, or fear-based lives. Every single one of us is meant to live a life filled with great happiness, joy, and fulfillment.

    It’s easy to connect to joy during times of pleasure, success, well-being, happiness, and bliss, but what if we decided to hold joy in our hearts and live full lives regardless of circumstances?

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    This belief is easier to remember and accept when life is happily progressing. However, when things go wrong, or when our world is suddenly turned upside down, it’s easy to get swept away by the idea that life is inherently messy, difficult, or unfair. Life is inevitably challenging, but it’s less so when we remember the truth of who we are.

    With so much uncertainty and negativity permeating the current state of the world, it’s our job to vigilantly identify and recognize negative emotions as a sign that we have fallen out of alignment with this truth, and shift our energy and focus back to joy.

    It’s easy to connect to joy during times of pleasure, success, well-being, happiness, and bliss, but what if we decided to hold joy in our hearts and live full lives regardless of circumstances?

    Here are three tips on how to harness your inner strength and return to the joy you were born with.

     

    1. Stop allowing outside circumstances to contaminate your well-being

    Often we give our focus and attention to unhappy circumstances, and then wonder why we feel joyless. Especially during times of a global pandemic, we can count on catastrophic news reporting to inundate us with anxiety-provoking and disturbing facts.

    Furthermore, with internet and news sources competing for our attention, we have access to all of the horrors of the world at the touch of a button. When we observe all of this injustice, violence, and chaos it can be easy to convince ourselves that there is no joy to be had and that the world is a dark and scary place.

    On the contrary, misfortune is not the absence of joy. Joy is an indelible presence, always waiting underneath the surface for us to choose to see it.

    Joy is an indelible presence, always waiting underneath the surface for us to choose to see it.
    finding joy

    The trick isn’t to simply stop tending to your problems, but rather to be conscientious of the effects those problems may be having on your psyche. You can be concerned and activated to act without being consumed by what’s going on around you. You can search for ways to get involved or take action, without running yourself ragged or neglecting yourself or falling into old patterns of self-betrayal.

    Remember, prioritizing the joy in your own life contributes to the well-being of those around you and the world at large. In times of darkness, always look for the light. During this time, seek out positive news regarding the helpers and people donating their time, money, and other resources that contribute to the greater good.

    2. Look for joy and positivity in obvious places

    We often set our sights on the larger-than-life measures of success—money, glamour, status, and achievement—as indicators of how happy we should be. While there’s nothing wrong with having goals and striving for them, measuring the quality of your life with such benchmarks can actually push joy farther and farther away.

    When we continue to tie happiness to some material items or point in the distant future, it remains just out of reach and pulls us out of living in the present.

    Children are the masters of finding joy because they live in the present moment and focus their attention only on what makes them feel good and alive.

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    Now that “The Great Pause” button has been pressed and our days are filled with uncertainty and monotony, these moments may seem even more elusive.

    Challenge yourself to find joy in the simple things around you. Nature, having your needs met, kind gestures such as a nod from a stranger—each of these are invitations from the universe for you to wake up to the abundance already surrounding you.

    Practicing gratitude is good for the mind, body, and soul and can reframe our negative perceptions. Comparison is, afterall, the thief of joy.

    Reconnect with your inner child. Children are the masters of finding joy because they live in the present moment and focus their attention only on what makes them feel good and alive. Furthermore, when they don’t have something they want, they use their creativity to imagine it, and they find a way to have joy anyway.

    What simple actions can you take today that make you feel this way despite your current situation?

    Identifying these actions are a practical way to harness your inner strength and honor your needs.

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    Mindfulness grounds us and gently encourages us to release the pain of the past and relinquish expectations of the future.

    3. Practice mindfulness and positive affirmations

    Because we live in a world in which we have access to a phenomenal amount of disaster news, it’s important to practice mindfulness and affirm what is right in the world in order to maintain a hopeful mindset.

    Affirmations are great reminders of where joy lives: inside of us. They remind us of our true nature and connect us to the present moment. They are yet another reminder that we have everything we already need to cope and succeed.

    Mindfulness has similar effects, grounding us and gently encouraging us to release the pain of the past and relinquish expectations of the future.

    Many people live joyless lives because they think of joy as something that has to be searched for and attained, rather than something that is allowed and cultivated with intention.

    Joy is the manifestation that indicates alignment with your true self; a joyful demeanor and perspective suggests that a person does not resist reality. It doesn’t operate in a state of resistance; the more you struggle to find it, the more it will likely elude you. By harnessing your inner strength and returning to joy, you can disrupt negativity and inspire harmony and peace.

    Your Turn: Let us know how you harness your inner strength and return to joy in the comments below.

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    How to Cope with Strange Emotions in the Time of COVID-19 https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-to-cope-covid-19/ https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/how-to-cope-covid-19/#respond Thu, 23 Apr 2020 06:12:31 +0000 https://claritytherapyonline.com/?p=1611 Social distancing may lead to more elusive emotional experiences that appear unique to the current situation. Here's how to cope with them.

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    During the coronavirus pandemic, we’ve noticed many of our clients are experiencing difficulty identifying and labeling their feelings. The entire human race is experiencing a collective trauma that’s reminiscent of a wartime era. Most people have never experienced anything like this before, and with this type of unprecedented event comes a great deal of psychic fallout, without much knowledge of how to cope with this strange new landscape. 

    While isolation and confinement may lead to easily identifiable responses such as anxiety, loneliness, or depression, we’re also seeing acute, more elusive emotional experiences that appear unique to the current situation.

    Here are 7 of those more elusive emotions, as well as steps you can take to soothe yourself. Jump to one you may be struggling with, or read through them all below.

    1. Losing a Sense of Time

    “The Great Pause” button has been hit on our normal daily routines as we answer the call to self-quarantine. We’re no longer commuting to work, seeing many friends or family (if any), celebrating holidays, or fully experiencing the seasons change. Days turn into weeks and time continues to pass with a humming and mind-numbing monotony.

    Life outside of confinement has also come to a screeching halt with the exception of a few industries, so for many there’s no benchmark or anchor that business and life is carrying on as usual. This experience of our lives essentially being frozen in time and having to wait is very unsettling, and it makes our experience of time nebulous, or “mushy.”  

    How to Cope with Losing a Sense of Time

    Practice mindfulness. Pay extra attention to your sensory experience the next time your window is open or you’re on a walk.

    What’s your experience of nature? Instead of focusing on the unsettling images of the pandemic—the shuttered storefronts, people wearing masks—really take a moment to pause and focus on Mother Nature.

    Be intentional about keeping a small daily routine. The days may blend into one another more easily if we pass the entire day in pajamas on the couch watching TV. This isn’t to say you should force a routine of productivity; it’s about finding what feels right for you. This may mean incorporating small amounts of structure into your day. Something as simple as making sure you’re eating, waking up, and going to sleep at your usual times ensures your sleep cycle and nutrition don’t get derailed, which is essential to learning how to cope with this new reality.

    spring cleaning grounding
    Be intentional about keeping a small daily routine. This isn’t to say you should force a routine of productivity; it’s about finding what feels right for you.

    2. Anticipatory Anxiety

    There’s a great deal of anticipatory anxiety about events that may occur as a result of this pandemic. People are experiencing so much uncertainty and asking themselves, “How long will this last? Will I lose my job? Do I have enough in savings to ride this out? Is the government assistance going to be enough? What will happen if I get sick?”

    The truth is we don’t know when things will go back to normal, and that uncertainty is difficult to manage. Anxiety is often a result of ruminating about future events that haven’t happened yet. 

    How to Cope with Anticipatory Anxiety

    Focus as much as possible on what you have control over in the present moment. Start with identifying one worry that is in your control and approach it with curiosity in order to find a solution. For many of our clients, the best place to start is by simply identifying that they do indeed have control over how much power they give their worries. Reduce the power your anxious thoughts hold over you by making this commitment to yourself every day when you wake up.

    This is a pandemic, not a plane crash, and the slow drip of disaster news reporting amplifies and reinforces negative emotions.

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    3. Grief and Loss

    Many people are experiencing grief and loss reactions during this time but don’t realize that’s what they’re feeling until it’s labeled for them. Being able to recognize and accept the more intangible losses we face because of this pandemic can be profound: loss of community, loss of trust in our government or leaders, loss of how things were, our “normal” way of life, loss of financial stability or being able to provide for our families, loss of feeling like the world is a safe place.

    This type of grief is harder for people to identify—and therefore, to know how to cope with—because there’s no public funeral or formal recognition for what they’re feeling. 

    How to Cope with Grief and Loss

    Even though we’re experiencing this on a large scale, it’s important that you give yourself permission to grieve and recognize the loss and how it’s impacted you personally. Depending on our life circumstances, we experience it in our own way (some may even outright deny any losses). It’s common to experience the same stages of grief just as you would when you grieve a loved one who’s passed.

    Explore and talk about what you’re experiencing with a trusted partner, friend, or therapist to work through your feelings associated with the loss.

    One of the first steps in learning how to cope with this “new normal” is to give yourself permission to grieve, and to recognize the loss you’re experiencing.

    4. Guilt, Shame, and Self-Criticism

    On social media, we’re seeing people post their daily schedules, which basically amount to highlight reels. This is the rule of perfection for social media; why would there be an exception or day off during a pandemic?

    We’re seeing our friends’ and bloggers’ productive schedules, which include the toughest workouts, Michelin-star-level gourmet meals, picture-perfect family activities, inspirational monologues, all the while continuing to thrive in their jobs and relationships despite quarantine. People are obsessing over productivity.

    There’s a quote going around that says something along the lines of, “If you don’t come out of this with a new side hustle, skill, or knowledge, it wasn’t about not having the time.” People are shaming each other if they’re not productive enough or they’re being overly self-critical if they’re not using this “down time” to be productive. 

    Adopt the motto ‘Alert but not anxious.’ Make a conscious decision to not to let fear or anxiety consume you.

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    How to Cope with Guilt, Shame, and Self-Criticism

    Remind yourself that this isn’t a paid vacation. It’s okay to not be a super high achiever, it’s okay to not force yourself into hyperproductivity mode. During periods of stress we all function and cope differently, so why would now be any different?

    Start with being a bit more compassionate and forgiving toward yourself. Many people aren’t even aware of the self-critical or judgemental thoughts they tell themselves. We get used to our thoughts just floating around in our minds and accept them as our internal reality.

    It’s time to turn up the volume on your awareness of your inner dialogue. What are you telling yourself? Then ask yourself what you would say to a friend who’s experiencing similar guilt over productivity. Would you tell your friend to do more than what they feel they can right now? Of course not! Talk to yourself as you would a friend and challenge self-defeating thoughts, especially ones that include “shoulds” and “musts.”

     

    5. Anger

    The myth that America is invincible simply because we’re a wealthy, powerful nation has been shattered. Until now, things like pandemics always seemed to happen in faraway places with oceans between us. Once it arrived on our soil and our efforts to contain the pathogen really mattered, our healthcare system has proven itself completely unprepared to provide even the most basic protective measures to frontline workers. There’s anger with our leadership, or the lack of leadership, the lack of action, and lack of empathy. 

    How to Cope with Anger

    Acknowledge the anger and, more importantly, what’s underneath. Anger is often a mask for grief. Allow yourself to feel both the anger and sadness, and use them as fuel for action. Where can you help or make a difference for someone else? Can you donate a meal to frontline workers? Offer to pick up an elderly neighbor’s groceries? Call your state legislators to demand reform?

    Even if it’s just a matter of offering kindness or comfort to someone, identify how you can channel these feelings productively.

    With this type of unprecedented experience comes a variety of emotions. The good news is there are actionable steps you can take today to ground and soothe yourself.
    finding joy

    6. Heartbreak and Sadness

    People are experiencing collective grief and injustice. Returning to grief, we may experience sadness surrounding the loss of loved ones, friends, or colleagues due to the virus itself, or sadness due to other intangible losses given the current state of the world. Some people may still be feeling shock, numbness, or anger. Once those emotions wear off and the quarantine is lifted, people may experience these powerful emotions if they haven’t already.

    How to Cope with Heartbreak and Sadness

    Similar to grief, it’s important to you give yourself permission to feel sad and the emotions that may follow. This is often a stage of grief, and it’s vital to work through the emotion instead of trying to stifle its expression. Not crying doesn’t mean you’re expressing it incorrectly; this is a highly personal experience.

    Allow yourself to just experience your feelings without self-judgement or criticism. Don’t be afraid to talk about your sadness with trusted friends or family—they may also be struggling with the same feelings.

     

    This type of grief is harder to identify—and therefore, to know how to cope with—because there’s no public funeral or formal recognition for these feelings.

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    7. Fear

    There’s a lot of fear surrounding this pandemic because there are so many unknowns. When this first started, we witnessed a knee-jerk panic reaction manifested in the form of sold-out grocery store aisles and people hoarding more than necessary. When people are afraid they go into survival mode, and that’s what we were seeing.

    We don’t know how long this will last, how long we’ll have to quarantine, or when life will return to the normal we once knew. The virus is new, so we don’t have life-saving vaccines, therapies, or even herd immunity at the ready. On top of the fear of getting infected or possibly dying, it also feels like we’re defending ourselves against an uncontrollable, invisible enemy.

    How to Cope with Fear

    Adopt the motto “Alert but not anxious.” Make a conscious decision to not let fear or anxiety consume you. Follow health officials’ proposed guidelines to wash your hands, avoid touching your face, and take the necessary precautions when you must leave your home.

    Remain informed by checking the news once a day, but limit your overall news consumption. Don’t leave the news running all day in the background.

    This is a pandemic, not a plane crash, and the slow drip of disaster news reporting amplifies and reinforces negative emotions.

    Remember That You’ve Got This

    With this type of unprecedented experience comes a variety of emotions. While some feelings are easily identifiable it’s important to also honor our more elusive emotional experiences that appear unique.

    The good news is that there are actionable steps you can take today to ground and soothe yourself.

    Your Turn: Did any of these emotional experiences resonate with you? If so, how? I’m curious about your perspective on what emotions you’re experiencing during COVID-19 and how you’re coping. Let me know in the comments below!

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