If you’ve lived or socialized in New York City for any length of time, you’ve probably had someone ask, “What do you do?” The culture is fixated on work – what it is, how it’s going, what successes or headaches you’ve experienced there, how much of a monster your boss is, the amount of your paycheck, etc. A common response is, “I’m a…” Continuing the theme of fixation, we use the verb “to be” in relation to our work. We are our work, and it is us.

But in truth, despite it often being placed at the very center of our lives and identity, work is only one part of our experience and does not need to be a part of our identity. Who we are outside of work, and all its complexity, is often left unexplored, unnourished, and undeveloped.

The Psychology of Career and Identity

As an adult living in the US, you are more likely to spend the majority of your waking hours at work than anywhere else. (According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, those working outside the home averaged 7.9 hours of work per day, which does not include getting ready for work or commuting). Your sense of self and identity can easily become fused with, or overwhelmed by, where you are spending so much time.

This tendency is turbocharged by the social significance given to work-related ideas like productivity, working hard, getting ahead, chasing promotions, having to “hustle,” and consumerism. While this can feel uplifting for those experiencing a highpoint in their work, any changes in your ability to be optimally productive (such as getting sick, being fired, or leaving the workforce) can lead to big questions.

Who are you outside of work? What is important to you? For some, these questions may be accompanied by feelings of depression, anxiety, isolation, grief, feeling lost, and more.

If you seemingly are your work, some of the below experiences may sound familiar:

• • Not having much to talk about other than work or colleagues

  • Difficulty identifying your likes, dislikes, or interests

  • Relating everything back to work (ex: positive qualities are those that allow you to succeed at work)

  • Belief that the next title bump, raise, or job will give you a sense of fulfillment or satisfaction

  • No sense of play (ability to do something simply for the sake of enjoyment, rather than for financial or professional purposes)

Who we are outside of work, and all its complexity, is often left unexplored, unnourished, and undeveloped.

I often work with clients to explore the impact that the internalization of capitalism has on their self-worth, goals, and identity. If the above experiences resonate with you, it may be a sign that you’re ready to challenge the status quo and break free from some of the capitalistic ideals that you’ve bought into for so long. So, let’s help you discover who you are outside of work.

How to discover who you are outside of work

The importance of exploring your core values and purpose

If your sense of self and identity are consumed by work, imagining anything else or thinking about where to begin may seem daunting. This is extremely common and understandable – you’re challenging yourself to grow in new ways that aren’t often talked about or encouraged. So, how can you start to discover who you are outside of work? One way to begin is by thinking about your values, interests, hopes, and dreams.

Understanding these things can help you recognize the parts of yourself unrelated to job titles and salary brackets. Here are some questions I invite you to reflect on:

• How do I like to spend my free time? (this can help illuminate any areas of enjoyment, hobbies, or potential passions that you may want to lean into)
• Do I have any interests or talents that I haven’t explored (or given myself permission to explore) yet?
• What aspects of my character do I appreciate? (if this is difficult to answer, ask yourself
• what do others appreciate about you?)
• What values do I hold dear in life?
• What are my strengths? What are my areas for growth?
• What drives my behavior and how do I make decisions?
• Who have been the most influential people in my life and why?
• How can I be a better friend, partner, or person to those around me?

If reflecting on the above questions truthfully, some of your answers may be uncomfortable. The purpose of thinking about them isn’t to have everything precisely figured out, but rather to serve as a starting point for learning more about yourself. For many, acknowledging the less comfortable parts of yourself or areas of life you’d like to be different is an important step toward growth and change.

You are a whole person outside of work, deserving of rest and fulfillment

How capitalism keeps us stuck

In the United States, work and profit are valued above all else. We are taught from a very young age that to be unemployed or “unproductive” are among the worst things a person can be (just think about how intense the fear of being perceived as “lazy” is). Inevitably, this means many of us are consumed by work as we strive to be the most productive.

The fact that this constant striving leaves little time for the development of personhood is not by accident. People who are too tired and beaten down from work don’t have an opportunity to develop passions, break out of their isolation, organize with others to address their grievances and fight for change, or generally challenge the status quo. Keeping you focused on work affects things from the macro (national, state, and community level) all the way down to you.

For many, acknowledging the less comfortable parts of yourself or areas of life you’d like to be different is an important step toward growth and change.

So, how could you start to break out of this very intentional cycle and begin to get to know yourself better? In addition to reflecting on the questions above, having various building blocks in place can be helpful. Tending to things like your mental health, physical health, and your relationships can go a long way to having you feel supported as you push yourself to grow in new and exciting ways.

You Are More Than Your Job

I’m here to remind you that you are not your job. It may take up significant amounts of your time, energy, and attention, but at the end of the day, it is what you do, not who you are. Exploring your interests, values, and passions can be a great way to begin to untangle work from the parts of your life and identity that are just waiting to be cultivated. You deserve to rest and discover who you are outside of work. Embarking on this journey of growth and development with a trusted professional can be an especially rewarding and fulfilling experience. Regardless of how you get there, though, my hope is that the next time a New Yorker asks you about yourself, you will have more to say than you are your job.

Your Turn: Have you taken time to explore your values, passions, interests and who you are outside of work? Do you find it challenging to give yourself permission to rest? What has your experience been? Share in the comments below.

If you’ve launched a new venture, started your own business, or even pursued a side hustle, you likely already know that the entrepreneurial path can be as tough as it is rewarding.

Chances are, you’ve felt a mix of excitement, fear, and overwhelm. With all of the ups, downs, and uncertainties that come with the entrepreneurial journey, it can help to talk with someone who can support you through the ebbs and flows.

Fortunately, there are many resources out there to help you feel supported on the entrepreneurial path. You may benefit from working with a coach or mentor, or by joining a masterminds group of fellow business owners who can cheer you on. 

In addition to these options, seeing a therapist can be a powerful way to learn healthy coping skills, practice self-care, and combat the challenges that arise when starting your own business.

Curious about how therapy can help support you? Here are 10 reasons to consider a therapist as part of your support system.

10 Ways Therapy Can Help Entrepreneurs

1. Navigate Ambiguity
2. Deal with Pressure and Perfectionism
3. Reach Your Business Goals
4. Tune Into Your Body
5. Connect With Your Values
6. Feel Less Alone
7. Combat Fear of Failure
8. Set Healthy Boundaries
9. Increase Your Confidence
10. Show Up For Yourself

1. Therapy can help you navigate ambiguity.

As an entrepreneur, you’re no stranger to ambiguity and having to navigate an uncertain future. Maybe you’re launching a new idea and you’re not sure how it’ll be received. It’s possible you’re not sure where your next paycheck will come from, or perhaps you want to raise capital and have no clue where to begin.

During these moments, it’s easy to be hard on yourself and feel insecure about your path. Therapy can be a great tool for helping you manage difficult thoughts, emotions, and insecurities that arise. Plus, with a trusted therapist, you can learn about healthy ways to approach an uncertain future, making it easier to navigate ambiguity in the long run.

2. Therapy can help you deal with pressure and perfectionism.

When launching a project on your own, it can feel like the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. You may feel like you have to do everything 100% yourself, that there’s little room for error, or that failure is simply not an option. As an entrepreneur, you’re likely a highly ambitious go-getter with big dreams, and it can feel exhausting to consistently set the bar high for yourself. It can feel like your work is never enough.

Psychotherapists at Clarity Therapy help clients build resilience and feel confident in their personal strengths and abilities. When it comes to perfectionism, it’s important for entrepreneurs to embrace the journey, and know that it’s okay to mess up along the way.

When it comes to perfectionism, it’s important for entrepreneurs to embrace the journey, and know that it’s okay to mess up along the way.

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A trusted therapist can help you unpack how you’re feeling and provide a safe space for you to explore your beliefs around perfectionism. Therapy can also help alleviate the pressure to perform perfectly all the time, providing a space where your feelings and experiences are affirmed and validated.

3. Therapy can help you reach your business goals. 

Chances are, you have a million items on your to-do list and not enough hours in the day to address them. Therapy can be an excellent resource for helping you stay on track toward both your personal and professional goals. Plus, it can give you a roadmap for how to achieve them. 

Therapists who specialize in this area often work with entrepreneurial clients who are juggling multiple business ideas at once, from creating an online fitness platform to selling baked goods to launching a new clothing line. You’re allowed to have all of these dreams and goals, and allowed to see them through. For many, it comes down to setting realistic goals and a willingness to refine your plan again and again. Most of the time it’s a matter of taking one small step that accumulates into a bigger impact over time.

A therapist can help you with goal-setting, organizational skills, and accountability as you work toward achieving each exciting milestone. During therapy, you may be encouraged to use worksheets, personal calendars, or make a list of SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-sensitive) to help you stay on track.

4. Therapy can help you tune into your body.

How many times have you pulled an all-nighter to work on your next genius idea, or skipped meals to crank out a project in a few hours? When was the last time you got a good night’s rest? Are you practicing proper eating habits, drinking enough water, and leaving some time in your schedule for self-care? If not, it may be time to check in with your physical health.

When you’re pouring your heart and soul into your business, taking care of your body can often fall to the wayside. Seeking therapy can be a great way to tune into how you’re feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally.

A therapist can help you take inventory of your current lifestyle and give you a sense of accountability that will encourage healthy habits as you tackle the challenging world of entrepreneurship. 

Understanding and fostering a strong sense of values can help you stay connected to your entrepreneurial vision and serve as a foundation for the work you do.

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5. Therapy can help you connect with your values.

As an entrepreneur, staying authentic to your values is essential for fueling your vision. There will be difficult moments along the way, and in these moments, recalling your values can help ground you in what’s really important. Therapy helps you explore your value systems, from relationships and personal wellness to the values you want to instill in your company. 

Entrepreneurs often have a particular vision they want to bring to fruition. For some people during this process, they can get lost in the ‘how’ and start forgetting their ‘why.’

Therapy can even help clients uncover their values through personality inventories such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). Results identify your key strengths and remind you of the characteristics that will keep you grounded while creating your business. 

Understanding and fostering a strong sense of values can help you stay connected to your entrepreneurial vision and serve as a foundation for the work you do. When you have a strong foundation, it becomes easier to approach your work with enthusiasm, focus, and healthy perspective.

6. Therapy can help you feel less alone.

Being an entrepreneur can be isolating. You’re hustling away at your dream, often behind closed doors, working toward a cause you believe in. Maybe your family doesn’t understand what you’re doing, or your friends who work 9–5 jobs don’t fully understand the struggles you’re experiencing.

As an entrepreneur, you may often feel like you’re alone in the process. The truth is, you don’t have to do it alone. Maybe there’s a person in your life who is really good at finance who can give you a few pointers, or a template to help you track your progress. It’s important to have a team of people who support your dream, your vision, and your goals—who can help make your dreams a reality.

It can be tough to connect with others when you’re in the trenches of building your own business. Therapy can help you feel less alone in the journey, providing a supportive space to share what you’re going through. Plus, your therapist can share valuable tips for combating isolation and increasing social support.

Connecting with a therapist can help you feel confident and supported, while ensuring that you’re not alone on this tricky yet exciting entrepreneurial journey.

7. Therapy can help you combat fear of failure.

“What will people think of me? What happens if nobody buys my product? What if I don’t meet my revenue goals?”

These are a few of the many concerns entrepreneurs grapple with when starting a new venture. They have big dreams and even bigger ambitions, but the fear of failure can be soul-crushing. 

Speaking with a therapist can be a great way to learn practices for overcoming fear of failure, such as mindfulness-based strategies or guided visualizations. Therapy can also help you develop stress management skills, shift negative thought patterns, and gain confidence in your endeavors.

8. Therapy can help you set healthy boundaries.

As an entrepreneur, you’re likely wearing multiple hats while chasing your business dreams. Between family, friends, clients, and professional networks, there comes a time when healthy boundaries are necessary to take care of your well-being. 

Setting boundaries (especially with people close to you!) can be tricky, and therapy is a great resource for exploring where you may need to establish some distance.

For instance, maybe you can’t be available for your friends during the work week, but you set aside quality time each month to catch up. Maybe your 14-hour work days aren’t exactly sustainable, and you need to rethink your boundaries around work hours.

Therapy helps you re-evaluate your schedule and set up a workflow and lifestyle that supports you.

People often undervalue what they’re good at. Everyone has a natural proclivity for something. Sometimes we just need someone to point us in the right direction.

 

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9. Therapy can help increase your confidence. 

Taking business courses. Creating a website. Networking. Following up with clients. Figuring out finances. Marketing yourself to the masses, unsure if what you’re doing is landing or falling on deaf ears. How many times have you looked at your hard work and thought, “Will this ever pay off?” 

Whether you’re just starting out or have been in the business game for a while, confidence is key. Therapy can help boost your self-esteem as you navigate the challenging road to entrepreneurship, and having a trusted therapist to validate your experience can be meaningful during the tough moments. 

People often undervalue what they’re good at. Skilled therapists encourage new entrepreneurs to take a chance on their ideas and remember their strengths. Everyone has a natural proclivity for something. Sometimes we just need someone to point us in the right direction.

10. Therapy allows you to show up for yourself.

Between juggling the personal, administrative, financial, and organizational aspects of your business, it can feel impossible to find time for yourself. While it feels like there are barely enough hours in the day, booking a therapy appointment is a great way to hold yourself accountable and take care of your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. 

For 45 minutes to an hour of your day, you have uninterrupted time that’s 100% tailored to you. Apart from the designated personal time, a therapist can help you show up more authentically and learn to advocate for yourself in new ways. Know that you, too, deserve the attention and care that you spend on your entrepreneurial dreams.

Entrepreneurship is no easy road, but you don’t have to walk the path alone. Therapy can be a powerful tool to help you practice self-care, establish healthy boundaries, boost your self-esteem, and more. Click here to connect with a therapist who provides counseling for entrepreneurs, and to explore if therapy is right for you.

We have experience helping new and seasoned entrepreneurs maintain their energy and wellbeing. Click here to connect with a therapist who specializes in working with entrepreneurs.

Imposter syndrome can take many forms. You’re not sure how to start a project, so you put it off. You’re afraid that an email doesn’t convey your competence, so you edit just to delete it later. You compare yourself to others because you need to be the best, so you beat yourself down and dim your inner light. When you ruminate on your mistakes, you also forget every achievement up until this point.

Does this sound familiar? Are you a self-proclaimed workaholic or perfectionist? Have you always been an overachiever? Do you feel at any moment you may be “found out” by your colleagues or team as a fraud?

Imposter syndrome is a nagging doubt in our abilities, talents and achievements despite external proof of our qualifications and success. Imposter syndrome can rob us of our joy, confidence and hold us back in life. The phenomenon can affect anyone, regardless of their success.

Besides to the expectations you have for yourself, those starting a new job or career may have very real pressure to perform. Even executives of well-known companies experience imposter syndrome, like the rest of us.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Phenomenon, refers to high-achieving individuals who are unable to internalize their success. In pop culture, it’s coined “Imposter Syndrome,” yet it is not in fact a syndrome or mental illness. Psychologists recognize that those who feel like imposters experience feelings of inadequacy.  They are also quick to attribute success to luck, rather than their own skill or effort. The phenomenon describes a form of intellectual self doubt coupled with an irrational fear of being found out.

To call it “imposter syndrome” in fact downplays the universality of these experiences. An estimated 70% of people will report experiencing at least one impostorism episode (Clance, 1970). Individuals who identify as LGBTQ+, people of color, and first-generation college grads are disproportionately affected by imposter syndrome.

Below are four signs that you may be experiencing imposter syndrome and what you can do to combat it.

4 Signs of Imposter Syndrome and How to Cope

1. You feel frozen to start a task unless you can do it perfectly
2. Fear of failing is weighing heavily on you
3. You’re afraid of being exposed as a fraud
4. You’re constantly comparing yourself to your colleagues

1. You feel frozen to start a task unless you can do it perfectly.

Refusing to take part in a task unless it’s perfect or not completing a task at all are ways to avoid feeling inadequate. Perfectionism and procrastination are paralyzing, they freeze us from taking necessary action.

Perfectionism and procrastination are paralyzing, they freeze us from taking necessary action.

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We’re afraid that we don’t deserve the jobs that we worked hard to earn, so we might think “why even try at all?” It’s more comfortable to credit our success to luck than hard work or our innate abilities.

How to cope: Remember that starting is always the most challenging part. Oftentimes, we’ve already catastrophized the failure or negative outcome in our minds. This prevents us from even wanting to start. To combat this, take the smallest first step possible. Whether that’s writing one sentence or organizing the next step. Tell yourself that this is the drafting phase, your first edit. You can always revisit and make improvements, in other words, the task doesn’t have to be in its final form out the gate. Once we get started the momentum is usually enough to help us keep going forward.

2. Fear of failing is weighing heavily on you.

Everyone has to start somewhere, including your colleagues. Sure, they may be ‘experts’ in their field, or have years more experience than you. But they all had a first day on the job where they were the newbie too. Do you always expect perfect performance from your colleagues? Of course not, after all, we’re human. So why do you demand perfection from yourself?

How to cope: It’s just not realistic to expect yourself to perform every task perfectly in a new job role. There’s going to be a learning curve, so give yourself room to grow and make mistakes. Embrace being new. Afterall, this is a period dedicated to growth where mistakes are learning opportunities. A week, a month, six months, and a year from now, you’ll be able to look back and do the things that you weren’t able to do before.

3. You’re afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

Fear of being exposed as fraudulent can create paralyzing anxiety. This fear stems from low self-confidence and parallels the ongoing need to be the best. What’s the evidence that you’re a fraud? After all you were hired because at least one person in a higher position felt you were qualified for the role. So much so that they offered you instead of someone else the opportunity.

Make a point to pay attention to what you’re doing well.

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How to cope: Make a point to pay attention to what you’re doing well. Keep a folder in your inbox to file away thank you emails and positive feedback. Keep a pocket-sized notebook at your desk to write down positive things you’ve done well. Include even the small or seemingly insignificant things.

Schedule meetings with your mentor or supervisor and ask for constructive feedback. There’s always room for growth, and this is a positive thing. The next time you doubt yourself, you can objectively look back from a higher vantage point and see how far you’ve come.

4. When you’re experiencing imposter syndrome, you’re constantly comparing yourself to your colleagues.

Remember – you’re sitting at your well-deserved seat at the metaphorical table.

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You’re sitting at your well-deserved seat at the metaphorical table. You look around at your boss and coworkers and feel that everyone around you is so great at what they do that you pale in comparison. When we feel like we don’t measure up to our peers, this can invite nagging feelings of self-doubt and unjustified self-criticism.

How to cope: Identify unique qualities you contribute instead of hyperfocusing on your deficiencies. This can be tough for some people because we’re so used to tearing ourselves down. If this exercise is difficult for you, imagine that you’re having a conversation with a trusted person in your life. Think about what they would name as your redeeming traits. You can also ask your coworkers how you’ve helped them recently. Whether on a particular task or team project, this will allow you to get real-word feedback.

The most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome

When we doubt ourselves behind the closed doors of our office, we believe that we’re alone in thinking that way, because no one else is voicing their doubts. The most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome is to talk about it. In doing so you bring your fears into the world and in doing so this takes away some of their power.

By being vulnerable, you open yourself up to receiving authentic support.

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By sharing them with a trusted confidant you also create space for a reality check. This opens an opportunity for others to relate to your experience and share how they coped. By being vulnerable, you open yourself up to receiving authentic support.

For many, opening up about a fear of failure with those in our lives may not feel like a good option for different reasons. In this case, connecting with a therapist may be the route to go. Speaking with an unbiased individual in a judgement-free zone in and of itself is immensely therapeutic. A therapist has the experience to help individuals successfully work through the negative feelings related to imposter syndrome. For example, individuals learn necessary tools to challenge negative self-talk and self-defeating behaviors. In a supportive environment, therapists also help individuals free themselves from anxiety, self-doubt and judgement. Individuals experience newfound confidence and are able to finally celebrate their achievements and successes.

Your Turn: What ways have you found to combat imposter syndrome? I’d love to hear your tips in the comments below.