Living in a neurotypical world can be challenging for individuals with ADHD. The expectations, social implicit rules, and tasks often don’t align with the unique functioning of a neurodivergent brain. However, being neurodivergent doesn’t equal inferior. In this blog, we’ll explore the ADHD experience and discuss strategies, treatments, and therapies that can help individuals with ADHD navigate their difficulties and improve their quality of life.

Rewiring Perspectives: Empowering Neurodivergence in a Neurotypical World

Throughout my experience working with people that suffer from ADHD I often witness a very interesting evolution. The range of individual experiences can be vast. Individuals often share an initial intense frustration with symptoms and even ambivalence towards seeking help.

For many with ADHD, motivation can be a primary concern. There’s typically a disconnect between what people know they should do vs what they actually want to do. Does this sound familiar to you at all?

For many with ADHD, motivation can be a primary concern.

However, as we work together on changing how one approaches symptoms, you’ll be able to develop a more nuanced understanding of yourself. As a result, many people I work with share that they experience less frustration and a better appreciation of their contribution to the world. Additionally, they often report that they’re able to better manage difficulties that arise and speak less critically to themselves, simultaneously improving their self-esteem.

For the last 20 years, I have really enjoyed acting as a guide in this process for individuals who are struggling with managing ADHD. My wish is to help you find balance and harmony in your life, whatever that may look like.

What is it like being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world?

For a neurotypical individual, grasping the lived experience of someone with ADHD may be difficult. It’s important to recognize that everyone’s experience with ADHD is different, and my purpose here is to shed light on the pain points and complexities that individuals with ADHD may face in their daily lives.

The below illustrations aim to portray some of the unique challenges individuals with ADHD may encounter, including general experiences I’ve witnessed in my own clinical work:

The ADHD Experience: Understanding the Unique Challenges of ADHD in Various Life Areas

1. Sarah, a college student:
Sarah struggles with time perception. Despite setting multiple alarms and reminders, she consistently underestimates the time needed to complete assignments. She finds herself frequently rushing to finish projects at the last minute, affecting the quality of her work and causing heightened stress.

2. Alex, a professional in a fast-paced job:
Alex experiences difficulties with task switching and maintaining focus in a fast-paced work environment. Despite being highly knowledgeable and capable, their struggle to stay on track during meetings and prioritize tasks hinders their ability to perform at their full potential, leading to missed opportunities and feelings of frustration.

3. Maria, a parent with ADHD:
Maria faces challenges with organization and time management while juggling multiple responsibilities. She often forgets important dates, such as parent-teacher meetings and doctor’s appointments for her children. Balancing work, household tasks, and parenting becomes overwhelming, impacting her overall well-being and causing heightened stress.

4. Michael, a teenager with ADHD:
Michael encounters social challenges. He frequently misreads social cues and struggles to maintain appropriate social interactions. He often interrupts others unintentionally or struggles to gauge when it’s his turn to speak. This leads to misunderstandings and difficulties forming and maintaining friendships, leaving Michael feeling socially isolated and misunderstood.

5. Jade, a professional writer:
Jade grapples with the inability to harness hyperfocus effectively. While her intense focus on writing can be an asset, she often becomes so engrossed in her work that she loses track of time and neglects other important responsibilities. This inconsistency leads to a lack of balance in her life, impacting personal relationships and overall well-being.

Many people may be able to identify with certain aspects of the above case studies. It’s important to recognize that experiencing occasional difficulties with concentration can be influenced by various factors such as stress, fatigue, or distractions. However, in ADHD, symptoms persist over an extended period of time and are often accompanied by impairments in academic or occupational performance, relationships, and overall quality of life.

If you do find that these difficulties with concentration are consistently affecting your ability to function and thrive in various areas of your life, it may be helpful to consult with a qualified professional for ADHD testing. They’lll consider various factors like personal history, symptom severity, and the impact on daily functioning before making a diagnosis.

How to Accept and Understand an ADHD Diagnosis

Upon receiving an ADHD diagnosis, it’s important to prioritize self-understanding over self-criticism. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation but rather understanding that your unique brain is functioning and finding ways to navigate your challenges differently. Acceptance allows you to better understand your unique experiences, challenges, and strengths, providing a framework for self-awareness and making sense of your behaviors and thought patterns.

Better understanding the characteristics of an ADHD diagnosis can empower you to seek appropriate support. This includes strategies for managing ADHD-related symptoms, and accessing specialized treatment with the help of professionals who understand the nuances of this condition. Ultimately, by learning more about ADHD and exploring effective strategies, individuals with ADHD can better facilitate their lives and improve their overall well-being.

If you’re struggling with acceptance or self-doubt, know that you’re not alone. In my previous post, Coping with ADHD as an Adult and How Therapy can Help, we dive into the various ways therapy can nurture and support you in this process.

Functional Impairment and its Effects

ADHD can impact various areas of a person’s life, including social, employment, financial, and educational domains. The level of impairment varies among individuals, but it can significantly influence self-image and mood. Frustration and feelings of incapability may arise when simple tasks become challenging or career opportunities are missed due to prolonged and tedious processes. This chain of effects can ultimately result in low self-esteem and dissatisfaction with life.

Acceptance allows you to better understand your unique experiences, challenges, and strengths, providing a framework for self-awareness and making sense of your behaviors and thought patterns.

How to Manage ADHD Symptoms

However, the negative effects of ADHD can be addressed through changing one’s perspective and seeking evidence-based treatments. While psychopharmacology (medication) is widely used in ADHD treatment, it may not be suitable for everyone. Additionally, it primarily addresses symptoms without providing coping skills or emotional support.

An alternative to medication is neurofeedback, a therapeutic technique that modulates brain function to alleviate symptoms effectively. Neurofeedback has shown comparable effectiveness to medication and surpasses cognitive behavioral therapy in treating ADHD core symptoms. Moreover, coaching, which follows a cognitive-behavioral approach, can help individuals improve their lives through the development of routines, self-awareness, and coping strategies tailored to the individual’s unique situation.

The Role of Psychotherapy in ADHD Treatment

Psychotherapy plays a crucial role in ADHD treatment, providing emotional support and addressing every aspect of the individual. By exploring the effects of ADHD on identity, identifying strengths, and improving self-perception, individuals can reduce emotional intensity, improve anxiety management, and regain control over their lives. Psychotherapy also aids in organizing time, processing past and current stressors, and ultimately leading a more fulfilling life.

My wish is to help you uncover your strengths and become a more active participant of your life’s goals, leading to a sense of empowerment and improved self-understanding.

Constant Evolution and Self-Awareness

As human beings,we evolve and our mental health and ADHD symptoms can change over time. Factors such as aging and external influences contribute to these changes. It is crucial to maintain self-awareness and adapt to our evolving needs by making necessary adjustments in treatment approaches. Taking perspective and avoiding focusing only on our difficulties can help us embrace our unique functioning and emphasize its advantages, leading to contentment, serenity, and pride in who we are.

A Therapeutic Toolbox: Unlocking the Secrets to an Empowered ADHD Life

Living with ADHD in a neurotypical world can present challenges, but with the right approach and understanding, individuals with ADHD also thrive. By prioritizing self-understanding, exploring evidence-based treatments, and engaging in psychotherapy, individuals can significantly improve their quality of life. Remember, accepting your neurodivergent characteristics can empower you to embrace your uniqueness and lead a fulfilling life.

Learn more about ADHD testing services at Clarity, or book a complimentary consultation to speak with a professional to explore which treatment options are right for you.

Capitalism is one of the founding principles of the United States (the other being racism). This framework emphasizes maximizing productivity and profits by any means necessary. While the vast majority of us do not get to share in these profits, we do experience the effects of living in a culture that worships capitalism, often by taking on this “productivity at all costs” mentality and adopting it as our own. One way of describing this is “internalized capitalism.”

While working hard, being goal-oriented, or dreaming big are not inherently bad qualities, when they come at the expense of your health and relationships, it might be time to evaluate the role they play in your life. Questioning self-worth, difficulty resting, anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms can all be signs capitalism and your relationship to work is taking a toll. 

Figuring out what to do in this scenario can feel daunting. Taking time off or challenging the status quo may feel strange, unsafe, or scary. You are far from alone, though!

If you’re feeling run down, let’s explore if internalized capitalism may be to blame, and what you can do about it.

What Is Internalized Capitalism?

Internalized capitalism is the adoption of the messages of capitalism as your own values or guiding principles, typically to your own detriment. A common way this plays out is hustle or grind culture – the idea that you need to always be working as hard as possible, “maximizing your time,” making moves, and advancing toward your dream job or a higher income. In a work-obsessed city like New York, this often translates to multiple jobs, long hours, and the judgment of those who are perceived to be less “productive.”

The issues created by capitalism are as old as capitalism itself, however they are being felt increasingly intensely and are more commonly discussed than before (particularly since the beginning of the pandemic). Whether you’re an artist or entrepreneur, if you’re questioning your worth due to concerns about productivity, not resting, or anxiety and depression have become your norm, it may be worthwhile to continue reading and learn more.

While working hard, being goal-oriented, or dreaming big are not inherently bad qualities, when they come at the expense of your health and relationships, it might be time to evaluate the role they play in your life.

What does it feel like to internalize the ideas of capitalism?

Most of the ways the internalization of capitalism affects us are normalized in the US, despite being highly unnatural. As such, it can be easy to ignore, downplay, or miss what is going on. Experiences like those below may mean you’re committed to the grind in ways you weren’t quite expecting, and with unintended consequences:

Sunday Scaries

The sleepless night of dread before Monday morning is a sure sign work is taking up too much space in your life. For some, this may just be a sign of an unfulfilling job, but more often than not it points to experiencing the exploitation of workers so common in the US.

“Do I Have Value As a Person?”

Tying your value or worth as a person to your job, productivity, accomplishments, or possessions is a slippery slope. It demands you keep going faster and doing more to continue feeling good about yourself. When you fall ill, become disabled, experience unemployment, or are otherwise unable to produce in the same way, it can feel like an existential crisis.

Inability to Rest

Feeling under the weather or in need of a personal day, but go to work anyway? Difficulty actually resting and taking care of yourself on days off? Capitalism (and by extension, many employers) exploits and manipulates workers into feeling guilty for taking the time they need to rest and take care of themselves. This may come in the form of “not being a team player” or feeling anxious about “not doing anything.” Capitalism lies to us by saying that rest is for the weak and should be put off as long as possible.

Anxiety and Depression

Near constant worry about paying bills, holding onto one’s job, and the pressure to do more inevitably takes a toll on your mental health. This stress and feeling like it is inescapable may lead to feelings of anxiety or depression.

What to Do?

Unlearning is a difficult process. It takes time and energy, but can be beneficial if we truly want change in the long-term.

Learn More about Interrelated Systems of Oppression

As a white person writing this article, it’s important to acknowledge that the majority of my learning about capitalism has been from people of the global majority, and in particular Black women.

Black thinkers have long talked about and shared their wisdom on this subject. Scholars Tricia Hersey (founder of the Nap Ministry) or Joshua Briond (host of the Millenials are Killing Capitalism podcast) have spoken extensively about how capitalism reinforces, and is intertwined with, other forms of oppression, such as racism and white supremacy, ableism, fatphobia, and more.

Tying your value or worth as a person to your job, productivity, accomplishments, or possessions is a slippery slope.

In a therapeutic setting, talking about these things and learning to recognize how they are connected has value. Co-founder of Melanated Social Work Marvin Toliver has pointed out that tying internalized feelings of capitalism back to racism and white supremacy has been helpful for his clients.

Name the Thing

Having big, ambiguous feelings that we don’t know what to call can often make us feel even worse. In this instance, recognizing the feeling and identifying where it comes from can be useful. Being more specific in this way can always help us know where to start in trying to create change.

Establish Boundaries

On a purely individual level, having stronger, better defined boundaries with work can help you reclaim some of the time, energy, and space that work has taken from you.

Get Connected

Finally, the solution to these problems will be collective – not individual. Talk to friends and coworkers about your experience or get involved with organizations in your community addressing workers rights. If you are in a unionized workplace, learn more about your union! If your workplace is not unionized, learn more about potential options for unionizing.

Capitalism and exploitation of workers thrives on individuals having little recourse against such an overwhelming system. When we internalize these values, we end up perpetuating that feeling of powerlessness. By learning more, being specific about our experiences, and connecting with others, there is far more recourse to create change.

Capitalism and Your Mental Health

Unlearning internalized capitalism is possible.

I see capitalism as one of the foremost challenges to our mental health today. None of us are given the option to opt in or out of this system, so we can easily internalize or take in these messages without realizing it. Movies, television, and prominent personalities (think: Joe Biden working while having COVID) have long reinforced that productivity is essential and encouraged us to work past our breaking point, lest we be called lazy and be discarded.

The internalization of capitalism goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, depression, exhaustion, uncertain self-worth, and more. If you feel this way, I’m ready to discuss it with you. I’m Daniel Rich, a licensed psychotherapist at Clarity Therapy NYC eager to discuss capitalism and other mental health concerns tied to it.

Your worth doesn’t depend on your productivity. You’re just as valuable (arguably more valuable) relaxing on the couch as you are working at your job. If job stress, pressure from others, and other values of capitalism are weighing you down, I’d like to find a time to connect with you. Feel free to book a complimentary consultation with me today.

Your Turn: Do you recognize examples of internalized captialism in your life, habits, or belief systems? How does this affect you, your relationships, and emotional wellbeing? Share in the comments below. 

D o you ever find it difficult to say “no”? Are you so worried about upsetting other people that your needs go unmet? You may often feel like it’s your job to make everyone happy, even if it comes at your own expense.

Many of us have a fear of displeasing others, and this fear may be so deeply rooted that we don’t realize how harmful it can be to our health and happiness.

People pleasing is a theme that often comes up with clients in our therapy sessions. I’ve often had clients share, whether it was at work, with friends, or in romantic relationships, they would say “yes” when they really wanted to say “no.” Perhaps you can relate to this common experience. Maybe you find yourself doing things that aren’t enjoyable or healthy, just because other people expect you to, or because it makes them happy.

And let’s face facts: We all have some of this in us. However, being too nice and accommodating others can ultimately lead to burnout—and not just physical exhaustion but an emotional exhaustion due to feeling stretched too thin and underappreciated by others. If this rings true for you, maybe it’s worth taking a step back to examine some of these behaviors.

Do you know how to tell if you’re a people pleaser? In this blog post we’ll look at some key signs and behavior patterns that could indicate that you have people pleasing tendencies, and what to do about it.

How to tell if you’re a people pleaser: common signs

1. You often feel responsible for making everyone happy, even if it comes at your own expense.

Many people feel pressure to make others happy, and for good reason. We’re living in a society where we’re encouraged to take care of each other, and that means being there when someone needs us and making sure that they feel loved and cared for. This may come in the form of obvious pressure from your boss, partner, or family members, or more subtle, unspoken norms that you feel you need to live up to.

One way to tell if you’re a people pleaser can look like an extreme preoccupation with other people’s moods. For example, instead of enjoying the party you’re hosting, perhaps you’re overly concerned about others having a good time, and spend your time hyper-focused on being the perfect host. To an extent, this is normal and may make you a great party planner and all-around conscientious person. However, if anxiety about others enjoying themselves prevents you from being present enough to enjoy your own party, it may be a sign of people pleasing.

Feeling overly responsible for others can also leave you feeling like you’re constantly on duty—you may feel like you have to be there for everyone else, all the time. And when you put so much pressure on yourself to be available for others, it can become difficult to honor your own emotions or deal with your own problems without feeling guilty or like you’re letting someone else down. 

2. You feel guilty when you say no.

3. You often feel like you need to be liked by everyone.

It’s natural and normal to want to be liked by others. However, people pleasers often struggle with this above and beyond what’s healthy. Some people may feel like they need to be liked by everyone in order to be accepted and included in a certain group or social circle. You may feel like you must be liked by everyone because deep down, even unconsciously, you experience nagging feelings of inadequacy, or not feeling good enough as you are. 

Relying primarily on the validation and approval from others has its drawbacks however, since it can create an unhealthy reliance on other people. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, as well as feelings of guilt or shame when you don’t meet the expectations of others. Additionally, it can lead to you feeling like you can’t make decisions for yourself or that you need to please everyone. 

Here are a few ways you can shift your focus internally if you find yourself seeking external validation:

• • Take time to practice self-care and self-compassion. 

  • Remind yourself of your worth and values. 

  • Practice positive affirmations and self-talk.

  • Accept yourself as a unique individual and recognize your strengths.

  • Focus on developing meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and trust.

  • Set clear boundaries with others and be assertive when necessary.

  • Create achievable goals and celebrate accomplishments.

  • Prioritize your own needs and feelings over those of others.

4. You’re overly worried about what other people will think of you.

If you’re a people pleaser, then you’re probably concerned about what other people will think of you. You might be worried about what they’ll think of your choices and actions, or if they’ll like what you have to say. You also might feel like an impostor around certain groups or individuals because they make such an effortless impression on others–and this makes it difficult for them to see who they truly are behind their masks (or chameleons).

You aren’t your authentic self because you’re afraid you won’t be accepted for who you truly are. Furthermore, you may even find yourself going above and beyond your physical, emotional, or financial means to please others, even if it means sacrificing your own wellbeing. Do any of these things resonate with you?

5. You often find yourself in situations where you are over-rehearsed and overexcited, trying to make a good impression on others.

You try to be the best version of yourself for other people. You want them to like you and think that you’re interesting and fun, smart, a good person and a good listener. Again, this is normal behavior to an extent, so it’s up to you to decide where you fall in terms of people-pleasing. For example, do you find you’re often preoccupied or over-rehearsed for conversations because you want everything that comes out of your mouth to be perfect?

Relying primarily on the validation and approval from others has its drawbacks, since it can create an unhealthy reliance on other people.

Another way to tell if you’re a people pleaser may be that you find yourself rehearsing what people could ask or say next so that there is no awkward silence or confusion about what’s going on in their heads at any given moment during conversation with you.

A common example may be during a job interview. The people pleaser is so over-rehearsed and over excited that they start talking too much, giving too much detail and trying to prove their worth to the employer. Responses may seem canned and unnatural, as if the person has memorized a script versus responding authentically. They may also come across as too eager to please, agreeing to anything the employer suggests and not expressing their own opinion. Another way to tell if you’re a people pleaser could look like dressing or presenting yourself in a way that doesn’t feel authentic in order to ensure you appeal to a certain person, audience, or group of people.

How can I stop being a people pleaser and build confidence?

So, you identify with some (or all) of the above behavior patterns of people-pleasing. This is a positive thing! The first step to transformative behavior change is recognizing the patterns that no longer serve you. Now that you recognize some of the behaviors causing you grief, here are some positive actions you can take:

1. Learn how to set effective boundaries: The first step in learning how to stop being a people pleaser is to set effective boundaries. As mentioned above, this can often take a bit of practice as you learn to say no to requests and expectations that go beyond what you’re willing to do. It can be pretty comfortable at first, and that’s okay!

2. Know your values: Knowing your values will help you to make decisions that are right for you. When you know what is important to you, it will be easier to say no to those requests that don’t fit with your values. Take a moment to uncover your values and get to the heart of who you are.

3. Focus on yourself: As we touched on, people pleasing can sometimes stem from a lack of self-esteem. Focusing on your own needs and interests rather than trying to please others can help shift your focus internally. This includes learning how to acknowledge your own emotions and feelings and be mindful of them, as well as prioritizing your own needs and interests over those of others.

4. Practice self-care: Take time to focus on yourself, your feelings and needs. Creating a sustainable self-care practice you enjoy can help alleviate stress, and improve your self-esteem and confidence.

5. Build your self-confidence: Build your self-confidence by setting small goals that you can achieve and then praising yourself for your successes. Check out 9 tips for boosting your self confidence.

6. Seek support: Talking to a trusted friend or family member, and others who identify as people pleasers can help you to gain the confidence to examine your behaviors and stop people-pleasing. Read lessons learned from recovering people pleasers, and connect with like minded individuals.

7. Practice makes perfect: Visualize and practice the things that are challenging for you. For example, you might practice saying no to someone and work through what comes up. Making a game plan and practicing your approach with a trusted friend or therapist can help you gain confidence in these new skills and work through uncomfortable feelings that may arise. Check out PsychCentral’s guilt-free guide to saying no.

So, you can tell you’re a people pleaser. What’s next?

People pleasing behaviors can be hard to break out of and can impact your wellbeing, sense of self, and lead to burnout. It can take time to learn how to set healthy boundaries, build confidence, and stop looking to others for validation and approval. If this sounds like you or someone you know, you’re not alone and you don’t have to stay stuck in a pattern of behaviors that feel self-defeating. 

Therapy can help you become aware of your triggers and behavior patterns, recognize when you’re people pleasing, and work on developing and practicing healthier behaviors. With the help from a trusted professional and along with self-reflection, you can learn to become more confident, live more authentically, and foster relationships that are genuine, reciprocal and fulfilling. If you’re interested in learning more, schedule a complimentary consultation with me today.

If you’re not ready to start therapy, there are other steps you can take, too. Along with the positive behaviors outlined above, self-help books on the topic can be immensely enlightening as well. Best wishes on your journey of self-exploration, wherever it may take you. 

Your Turn: Do you identify with any of the people-pleasing qualities listed above? What’s helped you break free from behaviors that don’t serve you? Share your experience in the comments below.

Imposter syndrome can take many forms. You’re not sure how to start a project, so you put it off. You’re afraid that an email doesn’t convey your competence, so you edit just to delete it later. You compare yourself to others because you need to be the best, so you beat yourself down and dim your inner light. When you ruminate on your mistakes, you also forget every achievement up until this point.

Does this sound familiar? Are you a self-proclaimed workaholic or perfectionist? Have you always been an overachiever? Do you feel at any moment you may be “found out” by your colleagues or team as a fraud?

Imposter syndrome is a nagging doubt in our abilities, talents and achievements despite external proof of our qualifications and success. Imposter syndrome can rob us of our joy, confidence and hold us back in life. The phenomenon can affect anyone, regardless of their success.

Besides to the expectations you have for yourself, those starting a new job or career may have very real pressure to perform. Even executives of well-known companies experience imposter syndrome, like the rest of us.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Phenomenon, refers to high-achieving individuals who are unable to internalize their success. In pop culture, it’s coined “Imposter Syndrome,” yet it is not in fact a syndrome or mental illness. Psychologists recognize that those who feel like imposters experience feelings of inadequacy.  They are also quick to attribute success to luck, rather than their own skill or effort. The phenomenon describes a form of intellectual self doubt coupled with an irrational fear of being found out.

To call it “imposter syndrome” in fact downplays the universality of these experiences. An estimated 70% of people will report experiencing at least one impostorism episode (Clance, 1970). Individuals who identify as LGBTQ+, people of color, and first-generation college grads are disproportionately affected by imposter syndrome.

Below are four signs that you may be experiencing imposter syndrome and what you can do to combat it.

4 Signs of Imposter Syndrome and How to Cope

1. You feel frozen to start a task unless you can do it perfectly
2. Fear of failing is weighing heavily on you
3. You’re afraid of being exposed as a fraud
4. You’re constantly comparing yourself to your colleagues

1. You feel frozen to start a task unless you can do it perfectly.

Refusing to take part in a task unless it’s perfect or not completing a task at all are ways to avoid feeling inadequate. Perfectionism and procrastination are paralyzing, they freeze us from taking necessary action.

Perfectionism and procrastination are paralyzing, they freeze us from taking necessary action.

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We’re afraid that we don’t deserve the jobs that we worked hard to earn, so we might think “why even try at all?” It’s more comfortable to credit our success to luck than hard work or our innate abilities.

How to cope: Remember that starting is always the most challenging part. Oftentimes, we’ve already catastrophized the failure or negative outcome in our minds. This prevents us from even wanting to start. To combat this, take the smallest first step possible. Whether that’s writing one sentence or organizing the next step. Tell yourself that this is the drafting phase, your first edit. You can always revisit and make improvements, in other words, the task doesn’t have to be in its final form out the gate. Once we get started the momentum is usually enough to help us keep going forward.

2. Fear of failing is weighing heavily on you.

Everyone has to start somewhere, including your colleagues. Sure, they may be ‘experts’ in their field, or have years more experience than you. But they all had a first day on the job where they were the newbie too. Do you always expect perfect performance from your colleagues? Of course not, after all, we’re human. So why do you demand perfection from yourself?

How to cope: It’s just not realistic to expect yourself to perform every task perfectly in a new job role. There’s going to be a learning curve, so give yourself room to grow and make mistakes. Embrace being new. Afterall, this is a period dedicated to growth where mistakes are learning opportunities. A week, a month, six months, and a year from now, you’ll be able to look back and do the things that you weren’t able to do before.

3. You’re afraid of being exposed as a fraud.

Fear of being exposed as fraudulent can create paralyzing anxiety. This fear stems from low self-confidence and parallels the ongoing need to be the best. What’s the evidence that you’re a fraud? After all you were hired because at least one person in a higher position felt you were qualified for the role. So much so that they offered you instead of someone else the opportunity.

Make a point to pay attention to what you’re doing well.

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How to cope: Make a point to pay attention to what you’re doing well. Keep a folder in your inbox to file away thank you emails and positive feedback. Keep a pocket-sized notebook at your desk to write down positive things you’ve done well. Include even the small or seemingly insignificant things.

Schedule meetings with your mentor or supervisor and ask for constructive feedback. There’s always room for growth, and this is a positive thing. The next time you doubt yourself, you can objectively look back from a higher vantage point and see how far you’ve come.

4. When you’re experiencing imposter syndrome, you’re constantly comparing yourself to your colleagues.

Remember – you’re sitting at your well-deserved seat at the metaphorical table.

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You’re sitting at your well-deserved seat at the metaphorical table. You look around at your boss and coworkers and feel that everyone around you is so great at what they do that you pale in comparison. When we feel like we don’t measure up to our peers, this can invite nagging feelings of self-doubt and unjustified self-criticism.

How to cope: Identify unique qualities you contribute instead of hyperfocusing on your deficiencies. This can be tough for some people because we’re so used to tearing ourselves down. If this exercise is difficult for you, imagine that you’re having a conversation with a trusted person in your life. Think about what they would name as your redeeming traits. You can also ask your coworkers how you’ve helped them recently. Whether on a particular task or team project, this will allow you to get real-word feedback.

The most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome

When we doubt ourselves behind the closed doors of our office, we believe that we’re alone in thinking that way, because no one else is voicing their doubts. The most surefire way to combat imposter syndrome is to talk about it. In doing so you bring your fears into the world and in doing so this takes away some of their power.

By being vulnerable, you open yourself up to receiving authentic support.

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By sharing them with a trusted confidant you also create space for a reality check. This opens an opportunity for others to relate to your experience and share how they coped. By being vulnerable, you open yourself up to receiving authentic support.

For many, opening up about a fear of failure with those in our lives may not feel like a good option for different reasons. In this case, connecting with a therapist may be the route to go. Speaking with an unbiased individual in a judgement-free zone in and of itself is immensely therapeutic. A therapist has the experience to help individuals successfully work through the negative feelings related to imposter syndrome. For example, individuals learn necessary tools to challenge negative self-talk and self-defeating behaviors. In a supportive environment, therapists also help individuals free themselves from anxiety, self-doubt and judgement. Individuals experience newfound confidence and are able to finally celebrate their achievements and successes.

Your Turn: What ways have you found to combat imposter syndrome? I’d love to hear your tips in the comments below.